|
|
| 26
MARCH 2003 |
|
POEM # 1
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass
POEM # 2
Im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
POEM # 3
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn
POEM # 4
Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.
POEM # 5
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a slut.
POEM # 6
Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
POEM # 7
Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
|
| 20
MARCH 2003 |
|
A Woman's
Ultimate Fantasy
A woman was sitting at a bar
enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most
gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered.
He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful,
sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that
the woman could not help but stare.
The man noticed that he was the object of the woman's rapt attention, and with a
sly, sexy smile, approached her. Blushing, she prepared to apologize for
staring, but he leaned close and whispered in her ear.
"I'll do anything," he whispered in a deep, soft voice. "Anything, absolutely
anything you want, anything you have ever fantasized, for fifty dollars. There's
just one condition..."
Trembling with anticipation, the woman asked him the condition. The man said,
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The women gazed
into his hypnotic eyes, considering the proposition, then reached into her
handbag and took out fifty dollars. She scribbled her address on a napkin,
folded it around the cash, and pressed it into his waiting hand. She leaned over
and whispered into his ear...
"Clean... my... house." |
| 11
MARCH 2003 |
SEX MATHEMATICS
This is pretty neat how it works out.
This is amazing SEX math!!!!!!!
DON'T CHEAT BY READING TO THE BOTTOM FIRST!
It only takes about a minute.......
Work this out as you read.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of
those waste of time things, it's fun (& it's about sex).
First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have sex
.........(try for more than once but less than 10)
Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)
Add 5. (for Friday Night)
Multiply it by 50 (being a bit stupid)
I'll wait while you get the calculator................
If you have already had your birthday this year add 1751....
If you haven't, add 1750 ..........
Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. (if you remember)
You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want
to have sex each week).
The next two numbers are your age.
IMPRESSIVE ISN'T IT?
|
|
FUNNY STORY
Two nuns went out of their convent to sell cookies. One of them is
known
as Sister Mathematical and the other one is known as Sister Logical. It
is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
Sister Logical: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past half-hour?
Sister Mathematical: Yes, I wonder what he wants.
Sister Logical: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15
minutes at the most. What can we do?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk
faster.
Sister Mathematical: It's not working.
Sister Logical: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster too.
Sister Mathematical: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach
us in one minute.
Sister Logical: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that
way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical
arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister
Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.
Sister Mathematical: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me
what happened!
Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't
follow us both, so he followed me.
Sister Mathematical: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as
fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
Sister Mathematical: And?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
Sister Mathematical: Oh, dear! What did you do?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do? I lifted my dress up
Sister Mathematical: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
Sister Logical: The only logical thing to do? He pulled down his pants.
Sister Mathematical: Oh, no! What happened then?
Sister Logical: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can
run faster than a man with his pants down.........
(And you thought it would be dirty!) |
|
|
|
