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| Welcome To Squall's Humor |
| Poker and Sex |
| Q: What does Poker and Sex have In comman? A: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. |
| Golf Or wife |
| The Golfers wife was in full flight. "If you ever spent a sunday with me instead of playing golf I swear I would drop dead ," she Screamed. "Theres no point in trying to bribe me," Replied the husband. |
| Open Wide |
| A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. she explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says "open wide". I can't the chairs got to many arms. |
| Short Jokes |
| I Didn't tell her to lie in the DEPOSITION... I told her to lie in THAT there position! Clinton hire Cochron for his defence. The new line is...."If she spit, you must acquit! Hillary just hired a new white house intern.... LORRENA BOBBIT! Most people worry about getting aids from sex. Bill worries about getting sex from aides! What movie does bill clinton show to seduce White House interns?FREEWILLY!! |
| Ya Moma's so .....? |
| Ya Momma's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe its not butter. Ya Momma's so lazy she thinks a two income family is where the dad has two jobs. Ya Momma's so bald you can see what she's thinking! Ya Momma's so bald she took a shower and got brainwashed. Ya Momma's so flat she's jelous of the wall!! Ya Momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Ya Momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future! Ya Momma's has one leg and a bicycle! Ya Momma has so much hair above her lip she braids it!! Ya Momma has one hand and a clapper!! Ya Momma has no ears..... I saw the bitch trying on sunglasses! Ya Momma's Mouth is so big she speaks in surround sound! Ya Momma's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone! Ya Momma's twice the man you are! Ya Momma's missing a finger and can't count past ten! Ya Momma's in a wheelchair and says "you ain't gonna push me round no more"!! Ya Momma's cross eyed and watches tv in stereo! Ya Momma's so grouchy, that the MacDonalds she works in doesn't even sell happy Meals! |
| Ya Moma's so Ugly....? |
| Ya Momma's so ugly that when she tried to join an ugly contest they said "Sorry no professionals! Ya Momma's so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning! Ya Momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorrila cookies! Ya Momma's so ugly they filmed 'gorrila's in the mist' in her shower! Ya Momma's so ugly that when she walks into a bank they turn off the security camera's! Ya Momma's so ugly her Mom had to be drunk to breast feed her. Ya Momma's so ugly she made an onion cry! Ya Momma's so ugly that they moved halloween to her birthroom! Ya Momma's so ugly that she tried to take a bath but the water jumped out! Ya Momma's so ugly she turned medusa to stone! Ya Momma's so ugly kids go as her on halloween! Ya Dad's breath smells like 'shit' because he would rather kiss her ass! |
| Ya Moma's so Stupid....? |
| Ya Momma's so stupid cus she spent 20 minutes looking at an orange juice container because it said 'concentrate! Ya Momma's so stupid because if she spoke in her head she'd be speechless! Ya Momma's so stupid cus she called dan Quayle for spell check! Ya momma's so stupid cus she went to a drawbridge and took out her pen and paper! Ya Momma's so stupid cus she studdied for a drug test! Ya Momma's so stupid cus she thought a menopause was a button on a stereo! Ya Momma's so stupid she thought socialism means partying! Ya Momma's so stupid cus she thought softball was a venereal disease! Ya Momma's so stupid she put makeup on her head just to makeup her mind! Ya Momma's so stupid cus she hears its chilly outside so she gets a bowl! Ya Momma's so stupid you have to dig for her IQ! Ya Momma's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death! Ya Momma's so stupid she could trip over a cordles phone Ya Momma's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline Money! Ya Momma's so stupid she bought a solar-powered Torch! Ya Momma's so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Ya Momma's so stupid she asked for the number for '911'! |
| Ya Moma's so Fat....? |
| Ya Momma's so fat that everytime she goes out to eat she gets asked if she wants a group discount! Ya Momma's so fat she got stopped for having ten pounds of crack! Ya Momma's so fat her ass looks like two pigs fightin' over Milkduds! Ya Momma's so fat her picture fell off the wall! Ya Momma's so fat that when she fell over 4th av she landed on the 12th! Ya Momma's so fat your family portraight has stretch marks! Ya Momma's so fat that when her beeper goes off everyone thinks that she is backing up! Ya Momma's so fat That everytime she lies on the beach everyone goes round yelling, "FREEWILLY"! Ya Momma's so fat that god couldn't light earth till she moved! Ya Momma's so fat NASA have to orbit a satalite around her! Ya Momma's so fat that she has two sides of the family! Ya Momma's so fat I ran out of gas trying to get around her! |
| Ya Momma's so Old....? |
| Ya Momma's so old that when I told her to act her age the bitch died! Ya Momma's so old she has Jesus' Beeper Number! Ya Momma's so old her social security number is '1'! Ya Momma's so old that when god said 'let there be light' she hit the switch! Ya Momma's so old that jesus' got her in his yearbook! Ya momma's so old that on her birth certificate says expired on it! Ya Momma's so old she ran track with the dinosaurs! Ya Momma's so old her birth certificate has roman numerals! Ya Momma's so old she knew burger king while he was still a prince! Ya Momma's so old she sat behind jesus in third grade! Ya Momma's so old she was blind from the big bang! |
| Male bashing Jokes |
| What can a Bird do a Man can't? Whistle through his pecker! Why Did the man cross the road? Because he heard the chicken was a slut! why don't women blink durring foreplay? They don't have time to! why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize an egg? They don't stop to ask for directions! Why did god put men on earth? Because a vibrater can't mow the lawn! What do electronic trains and breasts have in comman? There intended for kids but men end up playing with them! Why do men masturbate? Cause it's sex with someone they love! Why were men given bigger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump womens legs at cocktail parties! Why did god make man before women? You need a rough draft before the final copy! Why is a mans pee yellow but a mans sperm white? So you know whether there cumming or going! |
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