djokes

Welcome To Squall's Humor

How Many Animals?

How Many animals in a womens panty hose?
15(10 little piggies, two calves, an ass, a pussy and a dead fish they haven't found yet!

Old women and a tightrope

Whats the similarity in getting a blowjob from an eighty year old and going on a tight rope?
In both cases you don;t wanna look down!

The Difference Between....

whats The difference between Lesbians and a wheat thins?
One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker!

Whats the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs?
Ones a goodyear and ones a Great year!

A guy walks into a bar and says , "oh god I am so thirsty i could lick the sweat off a cows balls!
And a gay guy on the other side of the bar goes mooooo!!

Top Ten Things That sound Dirty in Law But Aren't!

10: Have you looked through her briefs!

9: He is one hard judge!

8: Conssellor lets do it in the chambers!

7: His attorney withdrew at the last minute!

6: Is it a penal offence!

5: Better leave the handcuffs on!

4: For �200 an hour, she better be good!

3: can you get him to drop his suit!

2:The Judge gave her the stiffest one he could!

1: Think you can get me off!

Q: Why Do women fart more than men?
A: Because women won't shut the fuck up long enough to build up the pressure!

Q: Why did cavemen drag there women around by the hair?
A: If you dragged them by the hair they would fill with dirt!

Q: Why do men have dicks?
A: So there would be at least one way to shut women up!

Q: Why don't women like to fish?
A: You have to shut the fuck up!

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
A: CAUSE SHE WAS A WOMEN!!

Q: What's it called when a women is parylized from the waist down?
A: Mariage!!

Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
A: Cause Hangovers go away!

Q: What does a 75 year old women have between her tits that a 25 year old women doesn't?
A: Her navel!

Q: Why do men die before there wives?
A: Cause they wan't to!

Q: Why are women like screen doors?
A: you have to bang them a few times till they loosen up!

Q: Why are women like parking spaces?
A: The best ones are taken the rest are handi-capped!

Q: Why do women have breasts?
A: So men will talk to them!

Q: What's the difference between a women and a coffin?
A: One you come out the other you go in!

Q: Why is a pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A: They both feel good but you can't help but think who was there before you!

Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Cause they deserve them!

Q: What do you call the worthless piece of skin around the vagina?
A: A women!

Q: What is a period?
A: A bloody waste of time!

Q: Why did the women cross the road?
A: Who gives a fuck, why was she out the kitchen in the first place.

Things women and Men would never say!

The last thing you would ever hear a women say....?

1: Could our relationship be more physical I'm tired of just being friends.

2: Go ahead and leave the seat up it's easier for me to douche that way.

3: I think hairy butts are really sexy!

4: Hey get a whiff of that one!

5: Please don't throw that old t-shirt away the holes in the armpits are just to cute!

6: This diamond is way to big!

7: WOW! It really is 14 inches!

8: Does this make my butt look to small!

9: I'm wrong you must be right again!

10: I think belching is really sexy!

11: Sure, I'd love to hae 3-way sex with my best friend!

12: I insist you always put your mother before me!

13: I could never be with any other man, but I don't mind at all if you see another women!

14: I love a good cigar after sex!

15: I insist we use our life savings to buy a big bass boat!

Thing Men would never say ........?

1: While I'm up can i get you a beer!

2: I think hairy butts are really sexy!

3: Her tits are just to big!

4: sometimes I just wanna be held!

5: sure I'd love to wear a condom!

6: Fuck monday night football lets watch Murphy Brown!

7: I think we are lost, we should stop and ask for directions!

8: Hey look, there's a wool and fabric shop lets pull over and buy something!

9: Honey, I'm going to the store do you need more tampons!

10: What happened to my old Nancy Drew Books!

11: Do these jeans come in lavender!

12: This shower curtain doesn't have enough frills on it!

13: It's OK, I'll sleep in the wet patch!

14: I know you just blew me but i need a kiss!

15: Great, your mothers comming over to stay!

Why don't women rub there eyes in the mornings?
Cause they don't have balls to scratch!

Why don't men name there dicks after women?
Cause they don't want women running there lives!

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