Arranging Lots of Mutual BJ Encounters - by OralMarin 3/20/01

This article is written to share some ideas that have led to my unexpected success in arranging encounters. I just joined Yahoo's SF Blowjobs Club at the beginning of March 2001. I had encounters on March 6 and 14, and by March 20, I had six more setup for the following two weeks - about as much as I can handle! I'm not the young hunk who automatically attracts club members (although guys seem to find me "good-looking" and like my "great dick"). Overall, some confidence and interpersonal skills seem to be the most important factors in arranging encounters.

First of all, setting up encounters does take an effort, at least initially. But I hope soon to be able to reduce the time required for scheduling. My current goal is to develop a set of compatible partners who are willing to commit to a regular BJ schedule. I'd much, much rather spend time in a great 69 than in trying to make or change appointments!!

After some unproductive starts, I followed our leader's advice to focus on IM (see his club message 3/11). I had learned the hard way to be wary of guys who advertise regularly in club messages. (There are often reasons why they have to advertise, why they cannot keep repeat BJ buddies.) Setting up an encounter via IM seems to be much easier than e-mails (often ignored) or club messages (either too specific in time, or too general an appeal to everybody). Guys seem much more interested in an encounter proposal when it is specifically directed at them and when they can participate in suggesting alternative arrangements. IM is ideally suited for the kind of banter and negotiations that lead to setting up a meeting.

For me IM has another important advantage - it reveals a guy's personality much better than does an e-mail (but not quite as well as a phone call). But IM works well enough for me. I also like the ability to copy an IM conversation to my hard drive, so that subtle points can be accurately remembered. For me, a guy's personality is his most important "statistic." While IM is time-consuming, it is the most efficient way I have yet found to get a real feeling if the guy would be a compatible partner for me.

While personality is important, other guys do want your stats. I'm amazed at how empty many Yahoo profile listings are. I find that unless a guy has something in his profile to interest me, or at least to start a conversation on, I will skip him when planning some IM chat time. There may be privacy reasons for withholding some information, but there's no excuse for not filling in: city (both home and work), height, weight, and hobbies/ encounter preferences. You'll get much more IM when another guy knows this basic data in advance. And pictures have huge drawing power, even if you're not Mr. Universe. I like pics that somehow reveal the inner character of a guy!

One important factor in my active encounter schedule is a willingness to be flexible about partner type - at least for the first encounter. Many guys limit their search to someone quite similar to themselves, or to one age group. In my opinion, they miss out on a lot of fun. Opposites can provide some fresh excitement in sex, even to a plain vanilla-seeking guy like me. Recently a 6'7" 240# 32yo guy contacted me by IM. (My profile clearly shows me 5'5'' 150# 50's.) Of course I said yes to an encounter. When the time comes, I'll figure out a way not to get crushed!!

And I didn't say yes because he might have a big dick. (Club members have been known to exaggerate!) My own experience is that many tall, muscular partners are chagrined (but pleased) to find that my cock is noticeably bigger and firmer than theirs! To me, what a guy does with his cock (and with mine) is far more important than his size. One of my turnoffs are guys with big muscles and/or cocks who can't seem to talk about much else! Any new encounter is a risk, no matter how promising are your partner's stats. I've found that taking a gamble with many less-than-perfect guys (particularly if they seem to have a fun personality) was worth it! It's only an hour - and most club members are more fun than another solo jerk-off!! Overall, I've been very pleased with my gambles, aside from the big advertisers.

As a former salesman, I know that asking for the order is key to concluding any transaction. In many IM chats, I often suggest an encounter early in the conversation, just to show my intentions. Some guys just like the chatting - I find I am much more goal oriented. If I get the feeling that an encounter is unlikely, or that it might not be fun for me, I tend to sign off. But often I'm pleasantly surprised. Others often say yes to a meeting - including those who are a lot younger or whose stats superficially seem superior to mine! Confidence in oneself and a bit of humor seem to go a long way in making successful BJ encounters.

Personality, enthusiasm, an upbeat, fun attitude - all seem to be very important in one's success rate in arranging BJ encounters. To the extent that one can project these attitudes in IM chats, the more successful one will be. I'm not ideal in these traits myself, but I do work on them! And I know they are highly important in most areas of life. (I do research with high school students identifying the social skills and other traits that lead to success.)