Cumming As with heterosexuals, mutual orgasm is a common goal in gay sex. But this can be a challenge in both M/F and M/M sex, because a guy seems wired to lose sexual interest rapidly after his own orgasm. A further challenge for gay cumming is that the sex does not have the automatic stimulation of the partner's genitals that heterosexual sex does. In 69, for example, a common complaint is that when a guy starts to feel really turned on, he often forgets to pay attention to his partner's needs. (Personally, I like it when the other guy quits on me temporarily in 69. It's a sign that my efforts are having a real effect, and that's a turn-on for me!)

So gay sex almost always involves sequential, not simultaneous cumming. Some couples first put all the attention on stimulating one guy to climax, only then turning to the serious stimulation of the other. But this approach places a real burden on the one who has cum, because his mind usually is elsewhere. I strongly prefer a foreplay and cocksucking session of 20 - 30 minutes that brings BOTH guys well along towards climax. Then getting the second guy off takes much less time than starting him from scratch, and both guys can soon bask in an afterglow of hugging one another.

Changing to a largely "fingers" stimulation just under the head of my partner's cock, along with more limited licking, seems to provide a useful new signal propelling him towards climax. It's important to keep the top of his cock well lubricated. (I also react well when this change is felt by my dick!) This switch to largely fingers neatly sidesteps any "cum in the mouth" hesitation, while often providing even greater climax excitement than a fully oral climax. The thrill of mouth cumming seems to me largely dependent on viewing the other in a subservient role. This dominance attitude (also common with anal sex) bothers me because I strongly prefer that sex pleasures be mutual and shared equally - and simultaneously if at all possible. A good 69 seems to meet these criteria (as does "missionary position" heterosexual sex).

Figuring out when is a good time to go for the climax varies with each partner. For guys like me who drip lots of pre-cum when they're turned on, an increased flow often indicates it's a natural time to switch to fingers stimulation. Some guys don't like the taste of pre-cum, which can be another reason to switch to manual! The increased pre-cum flow can be a big help in lubricating a cock for fingers work. For guys lacking lots of pre-cum (I wonder - are having as much fun as I am?), they should tell their partner when they feel ready to climax. Prolonging sex without climax much beyond 30-40 minutes is not that pleasurable for me, and I suspect for many other guys. Women seem to be wired for much longer arousal time and for multiple orgasms. (To married guys looking to try gay sex: the similarity of reactions in any two male bodies offers some major advantages!)

Hopefully these thoughts are helpful to you, even if you don't hook up with me (OralMarin). But if we do get together, at least you'll know what I'll be thinking, wishing for, and probably doing with your dick! May all of your cocksucking adventures be rewarding!