Many parents
are confused about what they should tell their children about sex and
when and how this should happen. Parents are also concerned that sexual
information might heighten children’s interest in experimentation, but
many studies have shown that information and education do not encourage
sexual activity. On the contrary, wellinformed children make better and
informed decisions regarding their sexuality, when they feel that no
subjects are considered taboo at home. Some parents are concerned that
their children never ask any questions of a sexual nature. Children pick
up subtle cues and have probably realised that the topic makes
parents
feel uncomfortable and therefore steer clear of it. It is important to
make children feel good about their sexuality from the beginning. This
will make it easier for them to ask questions about it throughout their
lives. Here are a few good reasons why you need to take some time out
and make sure that
your child has the right kind of sexual information
and how it can help your child.
PREGNANCY AND AIDS: Previously, the threat of
unwanted pregnancies and STDs were the main reasons parents talked about
sex. Many never did. Sex was made out to be something terrifying that
could lead to scandal and disaster and social ostracism. Nowadays, the
terrifying rise in HIV infections has added urgency to the
need for
proper sex education.
AN ONGOING PROCESS: Questions should be answered
naturally and in age-appropriate fashion. A
question on pregnancy from a
five-year-old should be answered differently from when it is asked by a
twelve-year-old.
BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL: Model the lessons you want to
teach your children through your own behaviour, expectations and
messages. Children learn more from what they see you doing than from
what you say.
KNOW YOUR FACTS: Even if it means reading up, then do
so. If asked a question you do not know, say that you are unsure and go
and do some research.
GIVE FACTS: Children are not always able to
distinguish between facts and beliefs. Do not let your personal belief
system influence what you answer to a factual question. While there is
room for imparting your values, this is not it.
ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD: Curious children end up being
better informed generally and self-confident children overcome peer
pressure more easily. Praise is the best way to teach self-confidence.
LISTEN CAREFULLY: Guard against overkill. Answer what
is asked, without going into unnecessary details and don’t jump to
conclusions about your children’s sexual activities. Their questions may
spring from something they heard on the playground, not because they are
experimenting themselves.
POSITIVE FEELINGS: Young people who have positive
feelings about sexuality are more likely to be able to protect
themselves against STDs, unintended pregnancies and sexual abuse.
BE PATIENT: Sometimes some of your children’s
questions could upset or embarrass you. Try not to criticise, lecture or
nag. If you do, you won’t be asked questions again.
ASSURANCE: Let your children know that you are proud
of them and that they are lovable. It will help to build their
self-esteem. Also stress that it is normal for everyone to be different
and that you do not find their questions strange in any way. A child is
very vulnerable and can get carried away by external sources. Make sure
you impart a proper understanding of sexuality in your child, and always
be open to them and keep your child safe.
Give Sex Education To Your Teenager :
Why And How Parents Should Impart Their Children
With The Right Kind Of Sex Education
Is Your Teenager Sexually Active? Here's How To Find
Out!
Sexual Child Abuse Prevention - To Catch A Predator
Teenage Pregnancy, What's It All About?
The Parent's Responsibility in Sex Education
Why Sex Education Determines What Type Of Person
Your Child Will Grow Up To Be!