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You are visitor number

since 10/20/98

Welcome to the planet seacow "free advertising" page. You know those really annoying pages that say, "send this to everyone to save a dying girl or you'll lose ICQ", or "hugs and kisses and everthing else that makes me want to puke", or "help find this missing kid"? Well, I have news for you: I hate them. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone else does.

It's kind like telemarketers. You know how annoying it is to have one of those guys call you during dinner? I get dozens of these sites a night, so it's kind of like having 30 telemarketers call me in a one-hour period. After a while, you'd probably want to rip your phone out.

Face it, pal. You're not going to get ICQ 2000 by fowarding a site to everyone on your list. You won't be deleted if you don't. There is no dying girl. You will not get $3 for every person you foward this site to, nor will I. How would they send you the money, anyway?

This page serves no other purpouse than to generate hits for my web site. There are no throbbing hearts or dancing babies or copyrighted cartoon characters. I do have a few banners, though. All I ask is that foward this to as many people on your ICQ list as you can just so that I can get as much free advertising as possible. I want to get 1,000,000,000 hits by this time tommorow just so I can see if the Geocities counter will go that high. I aslo want as many people as possible to click on some of the banners and buy something.

If you don't send this to everyone on your list, you will bring on the wrath of some hacker somewhere who has nothing better to do than send naughty pictures to your relatives and coworkers using your e-mail address, even if you don't have e-mail. The hacker will also break into your bank account and take all of your money and empty your safe-deposit box through his computer. Your dog will be reposessed and all of your socks will be stolen. You'll spell words wrong and make grammatical errors for the rest of your life. In fact, you won't be able to put together a coherent sentence at all. I'll send my cat over to scratch all of your CDs. Your kitchen appliances will unionize and go on strike, even if you live in a right-to-work state. You'll get bad breath. You won't understand anyone's jokes. Your spouse will leave you for the evil twin you never knew you had. Your boss will blame you for stealing office supplies and fire you, even if you were a model worker. Some 300-pound thug named "Tiny" will leave a messge on your machine saying you owe him $250,000. People will trap you and ramble on and on for no given reason.

While you're here, I want you to know about my association with Amazon.com. I have set up an online store you can visit or buy something I'm auctioning at Yahoo! Auctions. I also want some more hits for the Transit Database Project and all of the other things on the navigation text at the top. Visit the main page for more info. If you decide to do something like this, please link back to this page so everyone knows where the idea started.

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