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|Learnin' to Drive]
[Virtual Church of Absolutely Nothing]
"Learnin' to Drive"
A Parody of the BeeGee's "Stayin' Alive"
Alternate Lyrics by Brian Kuhl
Well, you can tell by the way I use the clutch,
I'm a walkin' man that can't do that much.
Underage and out of work,
I've been driven around since I was born.
I look to my right. It's OK.
And now I look the other way.
We can try to understand
the automotive effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
I'm learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, learnin' to drive.
Well now, I shift low and I shift high,
and if I can't get either, I call AAA.
Got three pedals beneatch my shoes.
I've got my permit and I just can't lose.
You know it's all right. It's OK.
I didn't get a ticket at all today.
We can try to understand
the automotive effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
I'm learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, learnin' to drive.
We're goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Think I popped the clutch.
We're goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Think we're outta gas.
Well, you can tell by the way I use the gas,
I'm a drivin' man; no time to walk.
Radio loud and livin' large,
I've been all right since I left the garage.
And now I turn right. It's OK.
And now I turn the other way.
We can try to understand
the automotive effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
I'm learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
and we're learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, learnin' to drive, learnin' to drive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, learnin' to drive.
I'm goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.
Shift it outta neutral, man.
I'm goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.
I'm learnin' to drive.
[repeat]