It's time, once again, to rank the WWF superstars. For the uninitiated, this is where yours truly decides who is tops in the WWF according to the criteria of ring ability, mic ability, pop, current storyline, and title situation. Feel free to respond, even to challenge my rulings. The previous ranking for each superstar is shown in parenthesis.
NOTE: These rankings were decided after the Royal Rumble, but before the following night's Raw is War.
1. (2) Stone Cold Steve Austin- So Austin is going to Wrestlemania. Normally, I'd be upset that he has been thrust back on top so soon, but I have to hand it to him, he's earned it. Since coming back, he has expanded his repetoire and provided many great moments on TV (his feud with Stephanie fuelled the WWF while Triple H was out). Plus, the WWF owes this guy, and Triple H vs. the Rock has been done a thousand times.
2. (1) Kurt Angle- Colour me surprised (What colour would that be exactly?). I didn't think Angle would hold his title for three PPV cycles, so give the man his due. However, it is only a matter of time before Triple H wins the title to complete the Austin vs. Helmsley main event, but I guess the WWF decided that it was too soon to give away the main event (what would they do for excitement in the next two months?).
3. (-) Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley- Number three? For a non-wrestler? I know it looks weird, especially since Steph wasn't even on the list last month, but the list is for the entire time between December 12th to now, and in that time Stephanie has been the dominant figure on WWF TV. First she was central in the huge swerve that led to Mick Foley's firing, then she brought out the best (worst?) in Austin, and now she is battling Trish while propping her husband back up. Few performers have been more important in the best month.
4. (3) The Rock- The Rock slips to number four, which is probably the lowest he's ever been since I started doing these things. He's still the top draw in wrestling, but how significant a player has he been in the past month? He won the Tag Titles with Undertaker, which side-tracked him more than anything, didn't get a shot at Angle, and lost in the Rumble. Now he looks like the odd man out for Wrestlemania, barring some kind of Triple-Threat nonsense.
5. (7) Chris Jericho- Here's where I may come off as a bit hypocritical. How is it that Jericho jumps two positions after winning the Intercontinental Championship, when just last month the same title caused Benoit to fall 3 spots? Quality of opponents. While Billy Gunn is a great performer, he's second-tier, as had been all IC contenders up until that point. Y2J and Benoit are top-tier, so their feud puts them both over. Plus that Ladder-Match last night was the stuff of legend. We may not see a better match all year.
6. (11) Chris Benoit- Win the title, drop three spots. Lose the title, gain five. Welcome to Andy's Rankings. If he and Jericho can sustain this feud without it getting old, and get a third or fourth quality contender (and no, that does not mean Hardcore Holly) then the IC strap will be a real prize.
7. (4) Triple H- Some say the seventh spot may be a little low for a man who just fought for the Heavyweight Title at a PPV and is involved in the most intriguing feud in the WWF, but I say number seven is damn impressive for a man who was out three weeks.
8. (6) The Undertaker- More of the same for the Undertaker this month, stayed in the title hunt (won the Tag Titles), but never really threatened for anything. It will be interesting to see if they keep him face, or start a feud with the Rock.
9. (13) Kane- I know I criticize this guy a lot, so I figured I'd reward his performance at the Rumble with a four spot jump. He lasted quite awhile, finished second, was in the title hunt all month. But here's the thing: at any point does anyone believe that Kane is going to win when it counts?
10. (8) Lita- Voted Diva of the Year, Lita's popularity is undenialable. The Hardy Boyz are magnificent performers in the own right, but she gets all the cheers and chants. And now that this whole Malenko thing is hopefully over, and Lita appears to be healthy, hopefully the WWF will seize the moment and give Lita a bigger role. If not, let's start a letter campaign.
11. (10) Vince McMahon- His bit with Trish Stratus is helping her more than him. He appears to be sheepish and doting, whereas he should be evil and maniacal. But, I'm in favour of anything that puts Trish in a Spanking Match.
12. (5) Rikishi- Steep drop for a man who fights the top stars and won the 30th spot in the Rumble. The thing is, I never felt that Rikishi earned his high-rankings before, so now he has something to prove.
13. (19) Trish Stratus- As Mr. McMahon's plaything, Kurt Angle's associate, and Stephanie's main rival, Trish is involved with the top stars now. It is now up to her to show that her abilities entail more than wiping ranch dressing off her chest (but if she wants to keep doing that I won't stop her).
14. (15) William Regal- Nobody suffered more from my lateness of posting these rankings than Regal. Earlier this month, with the absence of Triple H causing a need for heels, Regal would've ranked high in the Top Ten. Now, with an apparent feud with Test, Regal is dropping like a stone. I guess that would mean that I've besmirched William Regal.
15. (12) "The One" Billy Gunn- Apparently, the WWF is cutting Billy's time down so he can work on his in-ring performance. I think he needs to work on his mic skills. Nobody looks more nervous on the mic than this guy.
16. (-) Raven- I hate the 24/7 rule. It takes what could otherwise be promising matches and denegrates them with constant interference. So a great performer like Raven doesn't get mic-time, because he's always under threat of attack, and often becomes inconspicuous in his own matches. Also, I don't care who the driver is. Do you?
17. (16) Chyna- This whole neck thing is a work. Chyna may be injured, she missed significant time before the "incident" but it is not because of the Spike Piledriver, and it is probably not her neck. In any case, the Ninth Wonder of the World stuck around enough through interviews and the Women's Title fight to stay in the rankings.
18. (-) Test- How does a guy lose a hot valet and then go on to lose practically ever subsequent match, and then rank 18th? Losing Trish was a mixed blessing, her star-power outshone both Test and Albert. Now Test is mixed up with Stephanie and rising stars Trish and Regal. Translation: air-time.
19. (-) Tazz- Sunday Night Heat is basically his show, which doesn't exactly put him up their with the Rock, but does help Tazz establish a cult following.
20. (-) Drew Carey- While "thirty-men, one ring" sounds impressive, Drew and Honky Tonk illustrated how inflated that stat is. Anyone whose counted the amount of actual wrestlers that make my rankings knows that there isn't 30 legitimate singles performers in the WWF. Nor should there be.
1. (2) The Dudley Boyz- It is getting to the point where you don't have to watch the WWF to know what is going to happen, you just have to read here. It was in my Year in Review section that I predicted the Dudleyz would win Tag Team gold early in 2001, and low and behold, I was right. Downright eerie, don't you think.
2. (1) Edge and Christian- Okay, so maybe it doesn't take Nostradmus to predict the goings on in the WWF, but Tag Team gold hasn't been the only thing I've correctly predicted.
3. (3) The Hardy Boyz- Their match versus the APA and Jackie on Smackdown had everything, proving once again what great performers all three members of Team Extreme are. If they were only given the stick...
4. (9) APA- You may be thinking the Hardys aren't good enough on the mic, but are either Bradshaw or Farooq all that good on the mic? Not really, but they rose in popularity when given minuette time. One APA note: while their new t-shirts sound cool, has there ever been a phrase that captures the homo-eroticism of professional wrestling better than: Always Pounding Ass?
5. (5) Right To Censor- The actual tag team of this group, the Goodfather and Bull Buchanen, really haven't done anything of late, taking a back seat while the Ivory/ Val Venis/ Steven Richards vs Chyna story.
6. (-) Kaientai- I love their new gimmick. Hilarious! I'm sure it will get old at some point, but for now it is great to see these two shmucks pulling their weight. Who would have thought we'd see the day where Taka and Funaki would inspire fans to right signs. Who would have thought we'd see the day where Kaientai ranked as high as sixth!
7. (4) The Radicalz- These guys have always been more of a crew than a tag-team, but they always managed to fight in some kind of combination to warrant positioning. Now, with the injuries to Eddie Guererro and Dean Malenko, the only pairing is Benoit/Saturn, which would be distrasterous for Benoit.
8. (8) Too Cool- What does it say for the now departed Road Dogg that K-Kwik has become more respectable and more marketable now that he is teaming with Too Cool?
9. (10) Lo Down- I really don't have any comments for these guys, sorry to disappoint all you Lo Down fans out there.
10. (-) The Rock and The Undertaker- I didn't want to do this, but these two did win the Tag Titles since I last posted, and have fought as a team 4 times on TV. Truth is, there aren't 10 tag teams in the WWF right now (Lo Down is ranked ninth for crissakes).
