Look at these photos, and ask yourself, which do I like better?
������� Me? I prefer the one on the left. Yes, that's right I said the one on the left. No, it isn't because I'm some sick, blood-fetish puppy. I don't get off on seeing women hurt; it's because the one on the left shows Lita, the wrestler, while the one on the right merely shows off Lita, the beautiful (don't get me wrong, I love the one on the right too).
������� There are plenty of beautiful women in the world. There are the ones that work in Hollywood, the ones that model underwear, the ones that you see in the mall. The fact is, unless it is someone of super-natural beauty (like Tyra Banks or Catherine Zeta-Jones), it generally takes more than a pretty face to stand out. Even in the world of professional wrestling many pretty faces are hired to merely to serve as eye candy, and of these women, there might even be some that, upon first glance, may be more physically attractive than Lita. Yet, you don't see me dedicating a site to Trish Stratus.
������� So, WHY LITA?. That is the question. It has a lot to do with my choice of the two pictures. Of course I find Lita attractive, very attractive, extremely attractive, eye-poppingly attractive... you get the point. But I also respect her as a performer. She can actually wrestle and not in a hair-pulling, mud-wrestling way. I'm talking top-rope, high-risk wrestling, technical holds and tosses wrestling. It is the combination of that respect for her ability, plus her appealing looks that has created this, admittedly silly, crush.
������� While that whole, "I respect her as a performer" thing is true, let's be honest, I claim to "love" someone I've never met, and probably will never meet, so looks have to play a hand in my obsession. They do, I'm not denying it. I love wrestling, but honestly, if they did an entire episode just focusing on Lita from different angles, I'd die happy. So what is it that turns me on about this particular girl? How do I count the ways...
������� Lita's look is exotic. Unlike the other Barbie-doll types in wrestling (Trish, Debra, etc.), Lita's look exudes attitude. From the wild red hair, to the tattoo on her right shoulder, to her saggy pants- Lita looks like she belongs in the world of wrestling. She looks like she could be "one of the boys", while at the same time flashing her very feminine sex-appeal. It's the whole "sexy tomboy" thing, and I like it very, very much.
������� I'll admit, I didn't really start to notice Lita until she hooked up with the Hardy Boyz. Sure, I noticed her with Essa Rios, I found her attractive and all, but she wasn't that special, just another valet (although her aerial ability was pretty cool). Part of it was that the red spandex-type outfits didn't suit her, they didn't show off her attitude. But once she joined up with the Hardys, she adopted their jeans and t-shirt style, while adding a feminine touch. As her popularity rose, her jeans fell, revealing more and more of her underwear. I love the whole package, the tops, the jeans, the hair; but I'll admit I stood up and took notice with the flashing of her thong. The look is pretty ingenious actually. Lita can wear baggy jeans while other Divas wear clingy, short-shorts or g-strings, yet the crowd gets all excited over some fabric reaching out of her jeans, showing on her lower back (OH GAWD, don't get me started on her back!).
������� So, like I said, Lita's in-ring ability has a lot to do with my feelings for her. Unlike other women in the WWF, Lita was hired to be a wrestler, not a valet (although she still does act as a valet). Sure, she joined the WWF as a valet for Essa Rios (and before that she appeared as one of the Godfathers ladies), but even in debut, she exhibited her top-rope capabilities.
������� Now, don't get me wrong. I like the pretty valets. I like Trish and Debra, I liked Sable, the only thing that will prevent me from flipping past the WCW is Major Gunns, but when the women are just another pretty face (to be accurate, it's more than the faces, generally what's below the neck is what they are there for) I'll admire and then move on. The same is not true with Lita. A lot of it has to do with her exotic looks, she doesn't look like just another Playboy Bunny. But the rest has to do with her ability. She can perform. I can cheer for her in a match without it being a bra and panties or stinkface match (although, the bra and panties match she was in was one of the highlights of the year). She can fight straight-up, in mixed tag-team matches, hardcore matches, or even take on the guys.
������� So why do I care if she can wrestle? Really, why does it matter that my lust-object has substance? I guess it for the same reason I can't watch Baywatch for very long. Leering at women for too long makes me feel sleazy. Oh sure, it's fun at first, but after awhile I feel dirty. But Lita's ability, combined with her believable, sensible fashion sense don't do that, in short, she's the thinking man's Diva. It's the whole Betty vs. Veronica, Ginger vs. Mary-Anne thing. I was always a Betty man.
������� Now many of you might be thinking, what about Chyna? She can wrestle too. She has never been merely a lust object. This is true. Chyna is unique, no doubt about it. I respect her as a performer as well (although I maintain that she is not half the wrestler that Lita is). The truth is Chyna's look never did for me. I think she looks a lot better now, better than when she first joined the Federation, but muscles just ain't my thing.
������� But it's more than that. While Lita can hold her own against nearly anybody, male or female, she doesn't have the same air of invincibility that Chyna's character has over most WWF Superstars (or had, until that whole Spike Piledriver incident). She loses, she takes beatings. Jacquelyn beat her around pretty good in a street fight, Ivory split her open at the Survivor Series. Lita takes her licks, sells her pain, but then pushes past it in true "face" fashion to continue. She'll take on the guys, but sometimes it backfires when a Benoit or Edge will get the best of her. At 5'7" she is not physically intimidating, and thus her willingness to take on a Test or Malenko shows bravery, which makes me love her even more (plus, at 5'7" she's not bigger than me, which is a bit of a turn off). For all her bravery, though, she can at times appear helpless. When she's cornered, or overmatched, or beaten, she shows fear. This here may be the key in what separates her from the rest. Sure, she's tough; but not too tough. She can, at times, give off some damsel in distress vibes, and that really works for me. Some could call that misogynistic, I suppose, but for me the moments of helplessness make me feel like I could be the hero, her hero, coming to save her. Of course, in reality, she could probably kick my ass, so how am I going to help her? But I just described a scenario where I saved someone I've only seen on television, reality really has no place in this discussion.
������� So there you have it, why I love Lita. (Although, really this is just scratching the surface. The truth is, the words have not yet been invented to describe my feelings toward Lita- well, besides the one that rhymes with recession). The thing is, judging from the pop she's been getting, I'm not alone in this judgment. Plus, I obviously am attracted to many female celebrities (I already mentioned Tyra Banks and Catherine Zeta-Jones), yet I have no web-sites dedicated to them. One other thing. I seem to possess some level of intelligence and the self-awareness to realize how silly not only my crush is, but also how absurd these kind of web sites are. Yet here I am, posting these ravings for all the world to see (not that I actually expect the world to dial this up). To find out why I made this site, go to Why a Lita Web Page?, and yes, there will be more pictures (I don't pretend to believe that everyone is checking this out for my witty prose).
