He was in a bus when he opened his eyes.From the words of the passengers he came to know that it was heading jammu, that he was found by sense one onthe out skirts of a small village.Sighs of fast approaching death were visible on his face.He was once again coughing & blisters & pimples grew innumlur & almost covered every patt of his body."they could be be never put to an end untill my own."he thought. He had no bath for the last ten das , had not changed his clothes and thus was foul smelling. Now & then some of the passengers or the crew in the bus offered him something to eat & inquired of his well being,name & addess but he could hardly respond to their quiries .Hundred of thoughts flushed his mind in a second .Their intensity and frequency was so large that he was thinking at a second. He thought he was admitted in a hospital someday and discharged the very same day, on the 12 day, from he day he started his journey from agra after meeting his friend m he felt a little relieved of the feverish mood and vould tell his name was patanjali and that he worked as pollution controlling officer,but denied to tell his past life. He was good enough to see he was approaching jammu. As dusk turned into darkness, the road melted into a thin ribbon of a track that disappeared through the bush.The bus seemed to be heading into the middle of nowhere.It was late night at 3 c and all were thirsty & hungry. slowly the familiar sights & sounds of a small village appeared as the first trapping of civilization came to sight . the nearest habitation is a lone tea-stall about a kilometer ahed.

The bus came to a halt at the tea-stall and all the passengers including patanjali unboarded the bus and went into the hotel to have daily routine before snaks & tea.The time was around 3:30 in morning the hotel manager was playing old tragedy songs on his gramphone.The neighbours were so harrased that they used to chid him "the old ghost never dies .Nor his songs.Even Sun is asleep & he is playing the most cryful songs".The manager must not have known that he was becoming a comedian to the other people of his village.He surely must not have sense of humour.Later in the morning the bus reached its destination,he thanked the passengers for their kindliness, their succour and dragged himself on the road although the passengers volunteered to take care of him until he gets relieved from the fever totally. He walked a mile or two and at a distance he saw a large fencing and as he approached it, his mind was filled with thoughts of all kind.He thought she went out of his life ane the vacent place had been filled with the endless illness he had cough & breathing problem for the last two years. Again he thought she went out of his life because it was already filled with illness.Huge boards were attached to the fence reading 'No man land' 'warning :Restricted area:Jammu end.'he felt very uneasy -restrictions for living , restrictions for dying,Love bound in the chains of orthrodosim .To love something ,someone how may things ,have to be considered,not just one thing, the opinion of the parents , the elders of the family the jatakas , the dowry , the kanyasulkam, the duty , the job, the aim ,the religion, the caste, the sub-castes, the family honour,the height ,the weight ,the color ,the age,......

The love shattered by narrow minded thoughts -he once again thought 'dilse'and now searched for an effective tool andtore the fencing .Border security force opened fire at him takinghim for an extreamist trying ti trespass in the 'no man land'

Let it burn me or flame me
Let it turn me to ahes or grave
Let it set me on fire or fret
Let it kill or drill me
Let me upheld the freedom
Vandemataram...........
Let us break the bonds
Let us break the fence
Let us break the concrete nerves
Let us topple the yelling histories
Let us see something 
Something in nature against it
Let us bridge the gaps the gaps
Let us up held the freedom
Vandemataram............
Let it burn me or flame me 
Let it set me on fire or fret
Let it kill or drill me
Let me upheld the freedom

It was the end of a ridge and he fell down from the top over a river side .He thought the army men were on his back , so he ran madly, having gone berseck he ran wriggling and stumbled now and then over rocks,the ups and downs and so on.

Free away from the world
Free away from the frezing cold 
Take to heel from the demanding world
Lamout leaving this fore word in the air
Free away like the freely left bird
I believe that iam a elegiac sinner
I believe that it is lying deep inner
For the harp is always bound in silence
For her fatal chains evokes choas in me
I believe that iam a temptest strom
I believe lying on the edge of fire in alarm.
For she is always a aged nightingale
For she is the philosophy who lost her name & bale
Her spacious halio surviving in the thether of absord resorting me to frezied fazistic voilence
Her red lips paled in mayhem resorting me to frantic ashes
With a far cry to bring in chosmos
I believe that she is a safron bird
Drawn with gesticulation on sand sea & sky ford
I believe that she is my god
I believe that i don't go abroad for some reason i dont believe that
O she is burning , desending for freedom
O she is my mother & i cannot but fight in paraxysm
I shall go to her when no one else go or dont
I shall go to her when its the need of time or not
Whether the strom ,break the bounds
Whether the storm break the chains,
In my life time ler me dont believe the other way
I believe that she is the safflower
I believe that she is the golden sunshine
I believe that she is my lovely loving mother
I believe that she is my holy rain

I believe that she is the safflower
I believe that she is the golden sunshine
I believe that she is my lovely loving mother
I believe that she is my holy rain

For him the changing views of the mountains at evey turn of that sinuous path are unforgettable.T he journey although not a sojourn in fact, was a significiant bonus of freedom to him .A drive along deep jammu gorge where the river is a glitter of tinsel at the bottom of a dark eagle haunted ravine.The river valley widens and greens.Behind bare mountains raise wrinkled like the hides of dinousars .Beyond them are the blue heights of greater ranges sugar-dusted with snow. He was singing every thing he could sing.His health was depreciated day after day.

Where sunrise & never sets let my country wake up
When a new century sees in advance ler my country wake up
Where rajputs drew their swords , where rabindranath saoled over the song of devotion
Where truth & ahimsa flourished above the false erosion
Let my country wake up......
Vandemataram.
Sujalam suphalam malayaja sitalam
Vandemataram......
Where rani jhansi rose about in a flame
Whee annamayya flowere in the padyams
Where thyagaraja fingeredover his heart his music fume
Where nataraja raged bharatanatyam
Are awe of ghandi mean satyam sivam sundaram
Let my country wake up
Vandemataram.....
Ma......i salute at thine face
O ma.....i love your grace
Ma.....vandemataram
Where people love each other , care each other 
Where the worldis just to ungap rich & poor where the laws form mans stream of life & not the life stream for precept
Where there is chosmos & serenity in every heart
Let my heart wake up 
Vandemataram......

Index p1 p2 p3 p4 p5 p6 p7 p8 p9 p10 p11 p12 p13 p14 p15 p16 p17 p18 p19 p20 p21

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