by RumpleTeazer
Have you ever gotten angry when someone cuts you off on the freeway? Or stub your toe in the middle of the night? How about when someone criticizes or insults you for no apparent reason? Do these incidents tend to make you angry? Of course they do. And why not, anger is a human response, as natural as love and hate. But, if you break it down and really analyze what you are feeling, is it really anger?
I believe that in 99% of the cases, anger is actually a reaction to fear. You have fear and you resent that fear so you get angry. Even though you may not see the fear at first, once you think about it, it's always there. When someone cuts you off, your first reaction is to hit the brakes. You fear that you will be in an accident, hurting yourself or your property. Then, you flip the other driver the finger, showing anger. It's the same with stubbing your toe, it really felt broken at first, didn't it? The criticism goes a bit deeper. When someone insults you, you're first reaction is shock. Then you go on to hurt or, if it's a problem that you have been dealing with for a while, anger at the person making the rude comment. All the while, fearing that maybe they are right. If you have self confidence, you don't tend to get angry, just bored.
Anger is a part of social conditioning, we are told that we have a right to be angry when certain things happen, so we are. I believe that anger can be eliminated in our society if people would just take the time to analyze what they are feeling, when they feel it. Once you see the fear, then you can begin to deal with it, leaving the angry feelings behind. And, if we remember that everyone else is dealing with the same fears, then we can be a bit more understanding. If someone says you're stupid, maybe they are feeling a bit stupid themselves and only taking it out on you.
Of course, there are times when dealing with our anger is impractical, I don't suggest you take the time to analyze your feelings in the middle of a crime, although, it might give you the upper hand if you're already well practiced. There is something to be said for staying calm in a dicey situation, but the anger may give you the strength to get out of the situation alive. However, seeing how most crimes are born from anger, they could be eliminated also.
So, take a look deep inside yourself the next time someone takes your parking spot and wonder, "what am I really afraid of here". You might begin to understand yourself a little better. At any rate, it will at least give you something to do as you count to ten.
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