Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk?

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EULOGIES should me more along these lines....
THE GIRLS PLAY BALL
INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS...
A KUMI KIMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

The vitriol that has not come my way for missing a week of updates! My goodness! Some of you all do need to have your mouths and keyboards washed out with soap! But then again I don't fault you -- there are times I miss me too. As a matter of fact it is a common phenomenon! All right, all right, I promise to update regularly. NAAH! I'll just keep you on your toes, shall I?

I have had an EXCELLENT weekend! From Friday right down to Sunday. I cannot complain at all! But more on that later.

500 bucks worth of roasted meat goes to the first person who can explain where the sense and benefit of being a good guy in today's world are. This challenge comes not from me but from my boy Kip who, to put it mildly is ticked off at the fairer sex in general The man's eyes were flashing a subtle shade of red and therefore before getting the whole story I took care to sit out of his arm's reach. it would seem the good lady he had been running after decided that his offerings were wanting and opted to settle for those of another. He was informed sweetly that he was a nice guy but yadda yadda yadda.

I sympathized (from a safe distance) with the clearly irate feller but was unable to offer him more than a sympathetic ear for his extremely colourful adjectives and nouns that he used to vent his frustrations. If he is missing any gifts, expressing himself fluently is not one of them.

I have often grappled with the question myself and after the events of the weekend am finding it harder and harder to find answers to the question of the sense of being a nice chap.

Tell me: What is the point in this day and age of being a nice guy/nice girl, seeing as everyone gets painted with the same brush as being a liar. cheat, dog, etc etc etc? Mail me: [email protected]

NB: KiandaQueen, my dear, much as I agree with you usually I categorically REFUSE to take back any statements I made about Kianda Syndrome. REFUSE with SPIRIT! I stand by my words and my opinions.

Well, as I promised I shall outline what happened on Friday.

I criss crossed Westlands looking for the offices of the Model House (those good ladies who are the directors would do well to invest in a GPS navigation system or a series of 40 signs). Even Moses when leading his people the promised land would have been taken aback if the Lord directed informed him that he had to lead Israel and its Camels and livestock through a compound first before arriving at the gates.

I made friends with innumerable watchmen who had no idea in the process and finally found the place. There I was smilingly informed that I had pretty much achieved nothing but exercised my already healthy person. The tickets I was seeking were not existent. Would I kindly present myself at the entrance and give my name? After that things would be fine and dandy. I departed, fitter and healthier.

Setback number one had come to light the on Thursday when the good lady I was intending to accompany me refused with spirit to do anything of the kind. I was pretty sure I'd brushed my teeth and taken a shower when I inquired but the reply was an emphatic NO! No explanations were attached and despite spirited efforts to change what was apparently a resolute mind failed to gain an ounce of leeway. As a show of indignation at the female populace I decided to ignore the conventions of taking along a lass and decided to take one of my boyz. Sin found the attractions of Kengele's stronger but Steve was game.

The lass at the entrance nodded amicably and smiled when I introduced myself. Indeed, my name was on the list. And who was my guest? The instant I uttered 'Steve' that good lady's eyebrows rose so far they disappeared behind her head. I explained hastily that he was there strictly in the capacity of my boy and nothing further. We went in but I am not sure she was convinced.

The event itself was interesting. The crowd was stunned to discover that there were no figure requirements. The MC hastily pointed out that the contestants had to be proportional so anyone with figure 28-36-28 would have a rough time qualifying. The news that the swimsuit display would be conspicuous by its absence was met by howls of indignation. All these howls were made in baritones.

Finally everything began. Beautiful women wearing beautifully cut African wear and evening gowns. But naturally the meat of the matter only comes to light when the question and answer session came. Here usually all hell breaks loose.

I'm mightily tempted to outline at length some of the fascinating answers that were given to non existent questions but seeing as some people know where I live this would be a very unwise course of action! But I'm still kicking around the idea...

But there is one answer that had me laughing so hard I still walk with the conviction that i have dislocated a rib or two. A query was raised about Global Warming and the answer that was received by the stunned audience included phrases referring to 'warmth in our society' and 'warmth between neighbours' that resulted in howls of merriment.

Another dear lady was asked 3 things that could change the world and the riotous crowd could not let her get to the third. Their howls at her first answer quite disrupted her composure and she gave up after the second.

Not that I blame her. I recall when I was in 3rd form me and two of my buddies did a small job for Form-Net Africa and this led to us appearing on Club Kiboko. I distinctly recall with confidence informing a bewildered Lorna Irungu that the Kipsigis were Bantu as the KTN cameras transmitted this information to a few odd million Kenyans.. There is something about that mike...

NB: I shall re-write this RICHLY embroidered with imaginary events and characters..

August 16: Miss Malaika Preliminaries at the Carnivore. If you're not there you really are a square!
August 17: Susan's Birthday. Happy birthday you old bag!!!
August 23: Kengeles Galore!
August 24: Top notch rubgy action. High charged matches

I have a constitutional right to give My own shout-outs to whoever I please!

The Model House Gang: Congratulations!!
Doreen Maureen: How the heck are ye! Long time no see!
Pinky: Merci!
You know thyself: Thanks. Thanks a lot!
Richie & Sue: More congratulations!
Irene: Be sure to drink plenty of sea water while you're at the coast!
Maggie: Perhaps I was making a sweeping assumption when I thought you'd be done this millennium?
Aida: Most definitely intriguing!
Wanja: Hi! Long time no e! What on earth are you up to?
Carol The Pilot: You'll have to do a lot better than those 3 lines!