... IN LOVING MEMORY ...
A ribbon for you girl...
To Michelle
One of a kind...
This is for you.
I Miss you...
... WHAT'S NEW ...
SIGN MY GUESTBOOK! Or you will wither and die like the Kuku Dance!

Reading any further means that you agree without condition to the DISCLAIMER


Check out my regular IRREGULARS
Read Issue 40! A dash of television and a hilarious memo
Read Issue 39! Painful rugby memoirs and the need for vocabulary
... REGULARS ...
For those clamoring for past issues -- check out the archives and hope to High Heaven that what you want is there!
Read extracts from my journal. Most of the interesting stuff is there and I am thinking about sharing with you the really neat stuff like when I helped milk a cow that turned out was a Friesian bull....

Take a look at the agumbaru's corner -- (see if you're there!) I rant and rave and pull no punches! For all you know, you may be next!

Take a look at some assorted links. I will collect more and organize them when I feel inclined to but until then -- enjoy!

Something I have been driven to make by a firebrand lass whose email was in HEX! A very technical page for watu wa IT.

At long last I have been convinced by a baffling amount of individuals to document what ticks me off. With pleasure!
... IRREGULARS ...

EULOGIES should me more along these lines....
THE GIRLS PLAY BALL
INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS...
A KUMI KIMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

DISCLAIMER
The Thinker's Room

God bless the fools -- they make the rest of us seem intelligent!
ISSUE 41: Wednesday, August 7, 2002, 1720GMT (Gumbaru Mean Time)
... THINKER'S ...

SWEET OLD ME!

How are you doing? There, my good deed for the day is done. As usual I am smarting after a weekend replete with fun, games and work (in that order) and am now just getting adjusted to my week. My eardrums are also smarting from the effects of listening to a good lady singing. She felt that she was producing melodies more associated with Alicia Keys and Ashanti but unfortunately the general populace found the music more along the lines of Barry White.

I would also like to remember on my good friend Teddy who met his untimely demise at the hands of a hit and run driver. 2 years down the line we still miss you dude. And as for the driver -- God bless you too!

... MISS MALAIKA...
This Is Miss Malaika

Since I asked you very nicely to register yourself and you still tupad mbao, I will be carrying aroundcheese and crackers to go with all the whine that will come from people who complain that they never get any opportunities! (My suggestions that the qualification criteria be relaxed to allow jamaas to enter were dismissed as being impractical.)

And as for those who are keen for a night of good fun and entertainment, and enjoy it thoroughly when a prospective beauty queen informs us that FGM is a vegetable then we must rendezvous at the Carnivore on the 16th for the Miss Malaika Preliminaries.

I hear from the horse's mouth (no pun intended) that Redsan, Amani, Rada and lots of other talent will be there. The prospective beauty queens will also be there. Looks like quite a night of merriment so I shall be there with bells on. And so should you! If the worst gets to the worst I shall commandeer a bunch of 10 jamaas and we shall hold a paegent of our own ;-)

The final by the way will be held at Grand Regency at the end of August. But just in case an errant Mr. Kenya gets selected because there is not enough light and too much disco smoke, it will be held during the day.

 

... HMM!...
Sucker Despite instructions from the occupant of my cranium that the human being is by and large the most corrupt, shameless, inconsiderate and dishonest of all carbon based life forms, other aspects of my constitution have great faith in human nature, and usually instructions from HQ are largely overridden. This was adequately pointed out to me the other day. What happened was this: in a lull of action at Kengele's where we were watching a thrilling game of rugby, I took a break with my boy Jim and headed for the large company we had come with that were not keen on the game. We found ourselves in the middle of a stormy debate.

The bone of contention was that jamaas were absolutely hopeless at communication and thus made very poor friends. Naturally me and my boy Jim indignantly reacted to the affront on our gender. We were outnumbered 4 to 2 but the regular grief we encounter purely because we wear trousers moved us to rise to dazzling heights of eloquence. I was particularly singled out shortly afterwards as being notorious at disappearing off the face of the earth and immediately defended myself with what I felt was a concrete example. I'll have you know, I told them, a friend who lives quite out of my way, in that famous fortress opposite Nairobi Chapel where fathers who want a good night's sleep insist their daughters take up residence. I have visited this fortress (which cannot be more out of my way if it tried) in search of her innumerable times, been left listening to a dial tone even more times when I endeavoured to call, left messages with cheerful people who clearly believe that phone messages are a tool of oppression and have been doing nothing more than giving my fingers good exercise drumming out numerous lengthy emails to this lass. The responses from either mode of communication have been conspicuously striking by their sheer absence, I went on to note, but despite this I still make valiant efforts to keep in touch. Is this, I asked triumphantly, the behaviour of an typical uncommunicative jamaa?

I must admit it was naive of me to expect to get the last word when there is at least one lass in the room. I am seldom at a loss for words but am still recovering from Judy's very sweetly put reply. "My dear," she said, "there is a difference between being a good friend and being a sucker".

Still have no words to defend myself!

... MUSICALLY SP EAKING ...
Oldies!
I cannot explain it but of late I have been having an unnatural drive to seek out even more oldies, particularly stuff from the 70s and 80s. I cannot explain where the craving came from but what I can tell you for a fact that last night I was wiggling my middle while 'Staying Alive' with the Bee Gees and 'Grooving Tonight' with Kool And the Gang. During the course of the Night Abba's Dancing Queen shook the house to its very timbers and late into the night things were slowed down by a dose of The Temptations.

Now just before I hit the hay I am listening to some very alluring tune from a group rejoicing under the name The Three Degrees. If you've never heard 'When Can I See You Again?' You must be a millennium baby!

Naturally I still enjoy my Hip-Hop, my Ogopa and my R&B and my Classical but having something to talk to the Patriarch and the Matriarch about when it comes to music is stuff to write home about!

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... THOUGHTS ...

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

... THE GALLOP POLL™ ...
What is your IQ?
50 150
100 200

... MINE CALENDAR ...

August 7: Sam's Birthday! Dude, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
August 9: Anniversary of Theodore Kilonzo. Victim of a hit and run. We still miss u and your wacky ways dude!
Coca Cola is launching something or the other at the Carnivore. Ought to be interesting
August 13: Jim is leaving the country! You will NOT be missed :-)
August 16: Miss Malaika Preliminaries at the Carnivore. If you're not there you really are a square!

... STUFF TO DO ...
MAKE SITE!
SING IN THE RAIN
FIND NICE GIRL
CONVINCE NICE GIRL AM A GOOD GUY
BALANCE WORK AND PLAY!
STUFF FOR THE LESS PRIVILEGED KIDS & THE ELDERLY
STOP BEING SARCASTIC!
LEARN SPANISH & SIGN LANGUAGE
HAVE THE LAST WORD
... FEEDBACK ...

I have a constitutional right to give My own shout-outs to whoever I please!

Judy: I'm still thinking of a response!
Pato: Jamaa wewe ni shujaa!
Meg: Where's that logo you promised me?
Laura: Ushindwe wewe!

... ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ...
I would like to thank Me for all the support I have given myself. I am one of a kind and I admire the time I have taken to do this when I could be doing other more interesting things like shelling peas.
Let us not forget Myself for the valuable contribution as well , of course, as I who is indispensable to this project!
Some mention is also directed to my keenest fans and supporters who keep me going. Starting with Gathoni and proceeding to Sam, Beatrice, Laura, Anissa, Cynthia, Robe, Doreen Maureen, Beth, Mumbi, Riyad, Tommy, Bryo and Grace
There will also be some people who will want to be thanked effusively despite the fact that they have contributed nothing whatsoever. My friends, mtangoja kweli!
... FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON ...
Wanja, Sue, Rani, Jimo, John, Josephine, Njeri, Sam, Allan, Susan, Joyce, Joe, Jim, Eve, B, Sandy, Kioks, na kadhalika (Pals 4 ever) and my boyz Sinei, Baddy, Peter, Geff, Marky Marc, Oranjo and Vinny
... CONTACTS ...
Don't call me, I'll call you! I'm too lazy to write some database stuff to gather your feedback so if you are really inspired you can catch me at [email protected] Or vent in the Guest Book. Please send suggestions, thoughts, rants and raves and anything you like to me. I however reserve the right to delete your mail without even reading it!
... NEXT UPDATE ...
This site is updated IF and WHEN the owner FEELS LIKE updating it. He is under NO obligation whatsoever to do it on any particular schedule. Any questions?
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