Yaani people are real vegetables. NO MORE MAIL asking for past issues! For the last time: Past issues of Thinker's Room can be found HERE!!!

January 16: Clamors to go out today for Rock Nite but with one arm incapacitated? Pass!!!!
January 19: Some function of some sort. Don't really know what it is in aid of but as soon as I heard that there will be roast meat and chicken I was sold!
January 22: Someone's birthday. Seeing as my Outlook has forgotten all my annual data I am going to have to pull a Sherlock Holmes to find out who!
January 25: Swing by Children's home and play a game of soccer, getting shins kicked and toes stepped on and generally having a pretty nice time!

How was your day today? Good? Yesterday? Good? Well, seeing as I don't really care but am in a good mood I thought I'd ask anyway. This year I am going to be nice to strangers because the effort of being nice to friends can at times be trying when some of them are useless buggers!!!

Today I walked in the rain. Note that I did not get rained on -- I deliberately walked in the rain. I got wet (DUH!!!) but it was quite nice feeling the rain on my face and trickling down to the end of my nose then dropping off into the puddles at my feet and making a series of radiating ripples.... I think I am going to do it again tomorrow if it rains again.

At the top left corner of this page is a certain dedication to Michelle and quite a number of Children of their parents have take the time to write very nicely to me and ask who she is and why I keep that bit of HTML constant in my humble room. Some garden gnomes, farm fresh swine and Billy goats have also made some snide comments but those will be dealt with some other time, and quite ruthlessly at that!

Michelle was one of the few able to successfully breach the quite formidable defences that are in place to guard that piece of muscle fondly known as my heart. This was chiefly due to the fact that she was the nicest and sweetest person that I have ever met. It was when I found her with a bird perched on her finger that I realized I was not the only one of the opinion. (I kid you not about that bird!) She then to actually enter that fortress and start tidying up the living room and arraigning mal-aligned paintings, removing groundnuts and potato crisps from coffee tables and other such things until the sun seemed brighter and the skies bluer. I've never known what a stupid grin is until I set eyes on photographs of myself in her company... However I never actually told her this, and even as she was leaving the country for studies I was unable to summon the resources to inform her of this. (Nowadays there is a streak of fearlessness within my person that is cause for concern among my friends!) Alas I fear I shall never get the chance to tell her this because thanks to some gentlemen labouring under the happy delusion that 70 virgins are awaiting them in heaven, Michelle is dead now and I never got to tell her how I felt. (By the way if you are in the same boat can you stop right now and tell whoever it is what is going through your small mind????) Funny how we take things for granted while we have them around don't we?

But alas it is too late now and its been quite some 4 months. And I believe that I am coping swimmingly. Can't really say that it's been easy but among my many talents is the ability to smile when it is the last thing I feel like doing so I guess I am well on the road to recovery.... But I guess I will never be able to quite forget the chance I let slip through my fingers...

Play ball!!

For starters there will be mysterious disappearances from work, school, the dentists and the hospitals, and I do not limit myself to the recipients of the aforementioned services!! Employers and employed en masse shall abscond from their duties, some with creative reasons such as emergencies, some with poor reasons, such as the death of a grandmother who has died 5 times at the last count and some with no reason at all who simply disappear from work and who up exactly 90 minutes later, slightly more if the game goes into extra time or penalties.

Wives and girlfriends, I fear, will also find that the spice has gone out of their men. Their men will leave early in the morning and either return remarkably late in the evening or not return at all. Quality time, passion, enthusiasm and expression of self will be expended before a television set leaving nothing at all for the loved ones. Men who usually are towers of strength will shed tears when an enthusiastic defender will inadvertently slip the ball past the line of his own goal. Not only will this jamaa cry, he will hug another jamaa who is crying for similar reasons and they shall comfort each other. If this is done in any other setting embarrassing questions as to their inclinations will arise but seeing as it is soccer -- everyone else will either be crying or roaring with triumph.

Not to be outdone the girls shall lobby together and if this year will be anything like last year Kabul will have nothing on Nairobi! Last year I witnessed the girls refusing to be left alone and therefore banded together and had themselves a series of enthusiastic and quite fun filled girl's nites out and having been dragged to one (let me hastily add against my will) I left with renewed respect of the fairer sex. It would be simpler for me to say what wasn't done rather than enumerate what was done! My goodness!!!

But all's fair in soccer! And I for one await for Cameroon and Nigeria to meet in the finals so that Cameroon can carry away the cup to the chagrin and consternation of the Super Eagles!!

Sitting at dinner with the entire clan, my efforts to reach the salt cellar from across the table were clearly annoying the Matriarch until she finally told me that I had a tongue. For some reason she was flustered when I told her it was easier to use my arm!

What's Cooking?

It is a new year. If you don't know that by now rejoice in the knowledge that you are a dullard and that your IQ does not increase with time and therefore when you are old you are unlikely to be wise. But that's besides the point. I myself and a very dynamic kind of chap I also foresee a change or two to that will annoy the hell out of you and keep you on your toes.

And by the way where were those cabbages who were complaining about updates when I said I was taking a break? Anyway I am going to ...

Pull a Prince and change My name completely. I am getting tired of 'Thinker' and to tell the truth adopted it only because I lost a bet. Which name? I dunno.... we'll see.
Postpone the idea of the essays at least for the first few months. I shall get to them in good time
Write lots more of those articles that everyone is harassing me to write.
Shelve our Aunt Mojo for a few months too
Let you sample some of My other works. I invite opinions on some of the short stories I've written
Change the entire layout of the page

Otherwise everything will pretty much me the same ;-)

I have a constitutional right to give My own shout-outs to whoever I please!

Cherie: Lovely to hear from you! Was beginning to wonder if you'd run away to join the circus!! Will be in touch.
Aida: Did you know, that when it snows...
Brenda: Can I write poetry? CAN I WRITE POETRY? Does breath smell funky in the morning? Hell yeah!
Sam: I owe you one, My son! I owe you one!!
Anissa: I may be adventurous but not THAT adventurous!
Kilbuff: Where you at my jamaa? Holla!!!!
Laura: Very well then. I throw in the towel and throw down the gauntlet. I give up! 'Tis a shame really but what can I do? Your call!
Kibe: You are still in the running for cabbage of the year. The ASK show should have an opening for you this year.
The 3 Musketeers: Living proof that being nice to some people is a waste of time!
Elijah: About as intelligent as a bag of salted peanuts.