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June 17: Take a break from convincing myself that I am getting educated!
June 18: Laugh all the way to the bank
June 19: Increase already strained workload by taking on another large project
June 21: Entire day purporting to be hard at work at a client's site!

INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS...
A KUMI KIMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

Didn't actually appreciate the devotion some of us have to this little web space until someone actually called me a STUPID MAN for failing to provide updates for two weeks. Never mind young H, I shall take that as a compliment! And yes indeed I readily confess to having failed to provide updates for two weeks! And I do apologize. Well, actually no, I don't. But there is an apology somewhere on this page so that will have to do!

Why have I not? Well, for starters I have had an impressive workload. Within the last two weeks I have had to format Gathoni, migrate all my work to .NET, learn .NET, complete a data mining application, study for exams, sit for exams, teach some individuals programming and scripting, configure a server, attend to some engagements with some NGO and a few other things that I cannot remember right now but no doubt by now you see that my priorities were many and scattered!

But being the Ninja that I am and the all round good guy, I shall waste no time and make up for lost time.

In the meantime quite some mail has come my way, True, most of it has been inquiring which hole I am hiding in, but a good number were indignant at being deprived of their customary 'five minutes of the rantings of a diseased mind', as a lad called Johann eloquently put it. Beth made no bones about it and called me a stupid man. She later clarified (in case I didn't get the gist of it) that to be very stupid man. Pato hounded me by the hour for updates and I hope this will get that energetic young man off my back. Beatrice sent a few ideas my way (thank ye kindly my dear!) that I shall be sure to incorporate as soon as I marshall my thoughts.

Every spare moment that I have had was spent watching the action in Korea and Japan and so far these are my most prominent memories:
Saudi Arabia's hapless goalie regularly retrieving the ball from the back of his net. His haggard countenance will remain immortalized on film.
The Brazilian Ronaldinho has got to be the gent with the most toothy grin on this planet. There are so many teeth that they jostle for elbow room in the limited space available in his mouth!
The commentators had a very rough time when China was on the field. Not only were all the Chinese players about the same height, they all looked alike. And to complicate matters further most of them had names devoid completely of vowels. I could have sworn that the Chinese were so many that the administration ceased to use names for identification and instead went for number plates. With a chap called DJXPNG anything goes!
In one of the Chinese matches it was very puzzling to see the entire substitute's bench sweating and puffing shortly after the commencement of the second half while the team looked surprisingly fresh
Vieri's furious explosion at the refereeing of the match between Croatia and Italy will go down as a tribute to the eloquence of man when when moved by emotion. FIFA were a tad taken aback at the references to 'Village Refereeing'.
France's solid drumming at the hands of Senegal and Denmark brought back memories of the like of Coolio and Vanilla Ice -- one hit wonders.
No doubt in the Germany-Saudi Arabia match everyone on the German side was expected to score. I understand even the linesmen and the referee were entertaining ideas of getting a goal apiece.
The referee at the Germany-Cameroon match must have been issued shorts without pockets because he seemed to be insisting on carrying the yellow and red cards in his hands, which he gave freely in a manner that would have made Santa Claus himself happy. He'd make a welcome addition to consular staffs if he issued Green Cards with the same flourish!

Thank you my friends for giving me the opportunity to speak on this solemn occasion as we lay our brother Hugh Jass to his eternal rest. I have known him very well, as a matter of fact my whole lifetime, which is why I find all that has been said about him by the good people that have spoken before me puzzling. Puzzling to the extreme, I do say! For instance, his mother said something about that gent being kind to animals. We all know old Hugh was nothing remotely of the kind. His neighbours will no doubt testify to the enraged squeals regularly heard from his cats in the middle of the night. Many of us will also recall the clatter of tin cans and falling objects that regularly emanated from that gent's abode. The missing fur on those animals is no doubt in some way connected with this activity.

I also advise the well wishers present to draw the parallel between the sets of six scars on his sadly battered hound to the six spikes commonly found on the soles of soccer boots. Many of us no doubt saw old Hugh play soccer with that hapless mongrel. And we all know when I say he was playing soccer with this dog I am not speaking figuratively -- at no time was a soccer ball present during these games.

As for that lady who paid tribute to his honesty and integrity I do beg to differ. If ever there was a pathological liar, Hugh was. Even when the man said 'Good Morning' he was lying through his three teeth. Even 'how are you' was a dangerous question to ask this lad.

And I take issue with I.P Sanna's reference to our Hugh's intelligence. We all know that gent has the IQ of a boiled cabbage. As our mutual friend Dr. Okoth can testify, when a blood test was required of Old Hugh he had to take it twice just to make sure. No, by no stretch of the imagination can we say he was quick on his feet.

And those two who spent half an hour of our time telling us about his inspiration cannot have been more confusing if they had been paid to be. We all know the only thing Hugh inspired us to do was take a bath daily and brush regularly.

Which brings me to his gifts. Gifts! Someone spoke about his gifts and how he touched lives. Well, the only gift of his that I know of was his capacity for meat and drink. He certainly touched those! His rate and capacity for consumption were the most impressive that I have ever seen.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

I have a constitutional right to give My own shout-outs to whoever I please!

RIP: How are you doing sir! Long time no hear! Will be in touch!
Allan: Even if you are abroad remember in Kenya we will still call you Kinuthia!
George: You, sir, are a first class mountain goat. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. If you want images and Flash get yer own bloody site!
Laura: Am getting old and grey chilling for you and your correspondence.
Aida: Whichever hole you're hiding in you'd better show up quick smart!
Boy Gutu: About as useful as a comb to a bald man! Ushindwe wewe!
Pato: Rumours have it that despite your graduating some time back you are still a regular and familiar sight at Box!
Dennis: You owe me a very sumptuous lunch, of my choice. End Month is no longer a valid excuse.
Njeri: Keep your chin up will ya? Things ALWAYS work out!