Chapter One: "Where's My Fucking Bagel, Dan Rather?"

It was a breezy October morning in the town of Millbridge, Assconson. The leaves had turned a mixture of brown and red and were falling from the trees, littering the ground in a beautiful array of color.
And then Robo-Drac came to town.
Robo-Drac was crusing on a long empty highway, blowing up road signs and killing hitch-hikers with missles that shot from his chest when he saw a sign that read MILLBRIDGE ASSCONSON, 1 MILE. NIPPLES. For some reason this town name rang a bell in his robot mind. What was it? What was it about this town that was calling him? Drawing him in? Did they have free baby skulls to crush? He didn't know, all he knew was that he had to motor his wheel and get the fuck to Millbridge, and get there soon.
He picked up speed, but then came upon an Old Man dressed as a pirate. He held a sign which read "LIFE IS A BITTER HARVEST." Robo-Drac stopped in front of the man.
"What the fuck are you doing old pirate man?" Robo-Drac asked.
"I must warn the world of the bitter harvest that is life!" said the old pirate man.

"Man, you suck it hard old pirate fellow, I don't like you," Robo-Drac said.
"Stay away from Millbridge Robo-Drac!" the old pirate guy suddenly yelled.
"How did you know I was going to Millbridge? And how did you know I was Robo-Drac? And why haven't I killed you yet?" Robo-Drac demanded.
"It's an evil place!" the old pirate man said.
"ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Robo-Drac said, suddenly going berzerk, as he tended to do. He sank his fangs into the old pirate guys face and ripped the flesh off, and then proceeded to rip the old pirate man's arms off and beat him to death with them.
Then he continued on his way to Millbridge Assconson.
To Be Continued....

What's In Millbridge????? What's so evil about it?????? Why the fuck is Robo-Drac such a fucking jerk???? Who took my fucking ass flakes????? Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of AS THE WORLD EXPLODES AT GENERAL DEATH HOSPITAL ALL MY ROBO DRAC!-----An Erotic Thriller!!!!!!!!

ON TO EPISODE 2...