Part I: PartingChapter 1: ThursdayChapter 2: Intermission Chapter 3: Responsibility Part II: Conditional LoveChapter 4: SalvageChapter 5: Compomise Chapter 6: Appearances Chapter 7: Steadfast Chapter 8: Scorecard Chapter 9: Middle Chapter 10: Haunting Part III: The ReckoningChapter 11: DeparturesChapter 12: Endurance Chapter 13: Letters Chapter 14: Contrition Chapter 15: Waning Chapter 16: Intervening Chapter 17: Detour Chapter 18: Reunion Chapter 19: Exclusive Chapter 20: Gifts Chapter 21: Pennance Part IV: The Third EventChapter 22: ConfidenceChapter 23: Priorities Chapter 24: Dichotomies Chapter 25: Questions Chapter 26: Inattentiveness Chapter 27: Impetuous Chapter 28: Caged Chapter 29: Secrets Chapter 30: Family Chapter 31: Unfulfilled Chapter 32: Drowning Chapter 33: Persistence Chapter 34: Falling Chapter 35: Promises |
Chapter 9: MiddleDr. Boston stepped out into the lobby with a few sparse patients scattered in the room. She paused at the receptionist’s desk and checked her schedule. She had gotten fifteen minutes behind in her day. Her eyes fell on the name of her next patient and she groaned.“Hello Amy.” It was Nancy standing right next to her smiling and shining as always. Jessica was sulking in the corner flipping through a magazine mindlessly. Jessica turned the magazine upside down for a minute trying to read the ad. “Today, I thought I’d just speak with Jessica alone Nancy. I’ll talk with her for half the time, and then I’ll speak with you for the later half.” Dr. Boston stopped Nancy from joining them this fifth meeting. Dr. Boston noticed from the corner that Jessie put the magazine down, keying into the conversation. “Group therapy isn’t going to work?” Nancy had looked forward to this week; she had been trying to remember listing all the problems she had with Jessica this past week and was hoping to unload her burden. “I would like to try another method this week. We’ll work group sessions back in slowly. I want to understand both sides of this situation.” Nancy seemed to accept this answer and sat back down and picked up a magazine. Dr. Boston caught Jessica’s attention. “Come on in Jessica, we’ll get started. How have you been?” Jessie followed Dr. Boston in and the door shut behind them. “Okay.” Jessie shrugged her shoulders and shoved her hands into her pockets of her sweatshirt. “Have a seat anywhere you like. Do you like living at the Caudills?” Jessie surveyed the multitude of couches and chose the one closest to the door and planted both of her feet on the floor. It took all her concentration to keep them from bouncing. It had been forever since she had been alone in a counseling session and something was very unsettling about what was going to happen. It’s going to be okay. You can do this. It’s just you and her. She’s not on anyone’s side. “It’s not a matter of whether or not I like living with the Caudills. I have no real say in where I live.” Jessie sat up straight answering as matter-of-factly as possible. “Where would you like to live?” “I’m not six Dr. Boston. I stopped playing that game long ago. I resigned myself to the fate that I won’t get to control where I live until I graduate from high school and have a job of my own. As soon as I can make that happen, the sooner I can make that happen for myself.” Jessie shifted in her seat and concentrated on a point on the floor. “Tell me what’s happened since last I saw you?” “What we argued about? Mrs. Caudill thinks it’s horrible that I don’t socialize with any of the children of the people in her social circle. I apparently made a scene at Mr. Caudill’s annual golf tournament when I was discussing politics with a senator known for his mistresses as well as his bills pending discussion. And,” she paused as she counted off her fingers arching her left brow trying to remember. “I believe I am the sole responsible source of stress raising Mr. Caudill’s blood pressure by nearly ninety points.” “Well I think you’ve had a busy week then?” Dr. Boston chuckled. Jessie shrugged her response. “Does Paul or Nancy know how funny you are?” “I’m a pain. They wouldn’t care.” Jessie shook her head. Dr. Boston capped her pen and put it aside. “Now you’re being unfair to them.” “Maybe a little. But it still isn’t right being labeled as a ‘problem’ that needs fixing. I’m not perfect. No one is. Frankly, if they ever adopt a baby, I hope it turns around eighteen years later and burns its trust fund over some silly car or something.” Jessie scuffed her shoe. She couldn’t convince herself to make eye contact with Dr. Boston. “Jessica, what do you think about honoring the Nancy and Paul’s request that you just concentrate on school until you get more settled?” Dr. Boston noted Jessie’s discomfort with another pen. In the past, capping a pen had settled nervous patients down. Dr. Boston wondered what was really eating at Jessica. “I’m not ‘settled’ until I have found a place in a dojo.” Dr. Boston looked at Jessica pointedly waiting for her to continue. “I don’t get to belong to anything. I don’t get to belong to a family; I don’t get to belong to a school. But at a dojo I belong because I know enough no matter how many times I move, no matter what I can always be placed and know what is expected of me. “ Jessie ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t get it. I can work to pay my own way. I get to feel like I’m doing something. I’ve told them both this as emphatically as I’m telling you. It’s not about playing sides it’s about me knowing that this is the one thing in my life I have to do. I do nothing there with them. I show up to dinner. I get strung to pretentious gatherings. I go to school where regardless of what I’m doing, I’m bored out of my mind. I’ve taken to writing joke physic theorems because frankly it’s more entertaining than pretending I don’t know the difference in copper expansion.” Dr. Boston’s calming voice stopped Jessie’s tirade. “A few months off can’t mean that much to you.” “Months easily become years. I don’t argue to be difficult with them. Have you seen them? Anyone would have known except my caseworker that I was a bad fit socially for them. I try to be grateful, but between the three of us, it’s hard to remember mostly.” Jessie’s voice fell into misery. “I’m not here to make you bend Jessica. I’m just trying to generate some common ground for all of you to stand on. They’ve never had a child before,before; they don’t know how to really communicate with you. And you’re doing a remarkable job for someone your age.” “Would you please tell them I’m not seven. I don’t mind being treated like seven if I go into a tantrum or worse, but I try to keep it above ten most times.” Jessie gave a rare grin. It surprised Dr. Boston briefly. She scribbled an indecipherable note in the margin of the yellow notepad to remind her of Jessie’s apparent willingness to work things out. “Tell me about the other families you’ve been with. When did you become a foster child?” “I was six when the state decided when and where to place me.” It wasn’t the type of answer Dr. Boston expected. She had hoped to pull more of Jessie’s background out of her. Unlike the other questions that Jessica had previously today and in previous sessions answered offering more information, the abruptness of her answer regarding this question surprised Dr. Boston. In fact, Jessica had always been volunteering more information, usually to the shock and dismay of Nancy. “Which one was your favorite?” “I had no favorites.” Jessie was becoming irritated with the line of questioning. “I don’t want to continue to answer these questions.” “You don’t have to Jessie. I just wanted to get a better of idea of how to help the Caudills mediate with you. It might help if they understood you better.” “They don’t care Dr. Boston and there’s little anyone can do to make them want to. I’m just a steppingstone in their paths. When they’re through with me, I’ll be moved into a group home.” “Wouldn’t you like to try and make this situation work? You may have misjudged their intentions.” “Do you think I’m wrong? I don’t think so.” She looked at Dr. Boston for a moment. “And you know I’m right too.” Dr. Boston chose her words carefully as she defended herself. “Maybe that might be true to some degree Jessica, but I’m here to help all of you.” Jessie shook her head. “I’ve got nothing against you or your profession Dr. Boston. I have a problem with the Caudills exploiting you simply to see whether or not they are ‘right’ even if it is in their own world.” “I think I’ll be just fine Jessica. I want to find a way to help you. I can’t promise the outcome, but maybe if they hear you, it’ll be a step in the right direction?” “You’re saying pick your fights.” “Perhaps.” Dr. Boston sat up and leaned forward. “Okay one road block at a time. How about them signing the slip to let me take the advanced classes? They’re hesitating on that too. It’s school, that should be an easy one, but at the end of the day, I’m in one corner and they’re in the other.” Jessie ran a hand through her hair and sat back in her hair. “How do you approach them with the subject Jessica? You know that’s important to them.” “Okay I’m not great there. I’ll be the first to admit it, but no one cares what I do in school. Even my social worker can’t understand why I want to take advanced classes. I doubt my social worker can read anything that requires a fifth grade education to interpret.” Jessie paused and looked towards the window. “I don’t need to be a statistic. I’m not doing this to get attention. I’m doing this because I need it for me. No one will give a rip where I am in twenty years but myself. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.” “Have you explained to the Caudills what an honor it is to be the youngest student in these advanced classes?” “We can’t handle a conversation that requires that much time. It is a request under consideration. With my luck, I’ll be forty before they let me take the advanced classes.” “Don’t begrudge them Jessica. They’re learning their way through parenting, you’ve had the experience of several parenting styles and you know what works best for you. Give them a chance.” Dr. Boston put a hand on Jessica’s shoulder and realized she jerked away a moment before Dr. Boston’s hand could land. “Okay, how about you wait for half an hour now while I talk to Nancy.” Dr. Boston smiled making a point to ignore Jessica’s disdain for being touched. She nodded and stood up stalking out, her hands buried in her pocket. Dr. Boston didn’t even have to go out and greet Nancy; Nancy seemed to burst into the inner office. “How was she?” Nancy asked without any preamble. “Have a seat and relax Nancy.” “Is she going to be all right alone out there?” Nancy looked back to the door apprehensively as Dr. Boston closed the door. “Nancy, I want to ask you a question, what do you remember from being a teenager?” Dr. Boston took a second note pad to take notes. “Nothing of importance really.” Nancy bit her lower lip wondering if she answered too quickly. Being in this office always made her uneasy. She spent quite a bit of time wondering what might be misconstrued. “What was it like? Where did you go to school, your relationship with your parents?” Dr. Boston laid the pad aside. Nancy paused and then reluctantly answered. “I went to Weston Academy, a boarding school. I saw my parents during the holidays.” “How old were you when you started boarding school?” “I was twelve.” “The reason I ask is simply because from talking with Jessica, she’s in a precarious place right now. And as a teen she has to deal with a considerable amount of pressure and if you’ve never really dealt with a true parent-teen relationship, I believe you find yourself at a disadvantage.” “And you gleaned this from talking with Jessica?” Nancy was completely offended. “I’ve assessed this over the several sessions we’ve had together Nancy. Jessica needs your support. She feels isolated not just as a foster child, but also as a teen. She’s neither an adult nor a child.” “What could be done then?” “How do you approach questions that Jessica poses, the transfer to the senior classes for example?” “Jessica asked us that the first day after she took those test. She brings it up nearly every night but Paul and I have told her that we want to think about it and see how she does in regular classes.” “Have you asked Mr. Essenfield about the test scores? What they tell him about Jessica’s academic performance?” “Not really. Paul and I were waiting to see how Jessica adjusts. The social worker told us that Jessica hasn’t been known for adjusting well in new foster homes.” “Did you ever ask why?” Nancy shook her head. “It was clear to us from the moment we met Jessica why she might have a difficult time adjusting.” “And that reason is?” Dr. Boston baited for an answer. “She confrontational and has a difficult time talking to either of us. She’s just not a normal child.” But a perfectly above average teen.
Posted 200311.30-RHM |