Part I: PartingChapter 1: ThursdayChapter 2: Intermission Chapter 3: Responsibility Part II: Conditional LoveChapter 4: SalvageChapter 5: Compomise Chapter 6: Appearances Chapter 7: Steadfast Chapter 8: Scorecard Chapter 9: Middle Chapter 10: Haunting Part III: The ReckoningChapter 11: DeparturesChapter 12: Endurance Chapter 13: Letters Chapter 14: Contrition Chapter 15: Waning Chapter 16: Intervening Chapter 17: Detour Chapter 18: Reunion Chapter 19: Exclusive Chapter 20: Gifts Chapter 21: Pennance Part IV: The Third EventChapter 22: ConfidenceChapter 23: Priorities Chapter 24: Dichotomies Chapter 25: Questions Chapter 26: Inattentiveness Chapter 27: Impetuous Chapter 28: Caged Chapter 29: Secrets Chapter 30: Family Chapter 31: Unfulfilled Chapter 32: Drowning Chapter 33: Persistence Chapter 34: Falling Chapter 35: Promises |
Chapter 11: DeparturesThe phone rang in the middle of the night. Dr. Boston fumbled for the simple white phone on the cluttered bedside table. Her mind raced for a moment then realizing all her children were safe and in bed, she answered the phone with a trace of a yawn.“Hello?” “Oh Amy, I'm so sorry to call you so late, but I need your help, my mother has just had a heart attack. I need to go to her, Paul is out of town and I don't want to leave Jessica alone, could you watch her for the week? Paul will be back next Friday. She has that club on Wednesdays.” Nancy Caudill gushed in one anguished breath. Dr. Boston was more awake now and pushed herself to sit up in bed. There was that extra room that she had used when the twins were little, next to hers. It was only used when her parents came over for the holidays. “Sure, I have room. I'll be over in a few minutes. Do you need a ride to the airport?” Dr. Boston slid out of bed and started hunting for some shoes. “No, I have a taxi on its way, I'll have Jessica up and ready when you come over.” “You take care. Let me know how things turn out.” Dr. Boston put on some sweats and went to the kitchen. Christine got up. “What's the matter?” she asked. “Mrs. Caudill's mother is in the hospital, she needs to go to her, and Jessica is coming over. I'm going to pick her up, go back to bed, there's a lot to do.” She kissed Christine's forehead and sent her back to bed. Since she had started seeing the Caudills and Jessica, Dr. Boston had seen them nearly bi-weekly for the past four months. While Jessica had become calm and non-committal, Nancy pleaded for Jessica to conform to what Nancy believed was appropriate behavior. As a parent, Dr. Boston took issue with the way Jessica was being forced, and undoubtedly understood Jessica’s resentment; as a doctor, however, she noticed the lack of bonding between the members of the family. Jessica may have needed a firm hand, but that should have been tempered with allowing Jessica to begin to help make choices of her own; in spite of everything, she was clearly no longer a child. In private sessions, Jessica seemed to be as normal as any other child. She was usually gifted academically, but wasn’t obsessed by it and her interests were so uniquely varied. Jessica had definitely a flair for mathematics and science. But when it came time to talk about anything about her life before the Caudills, Jessica was a closed book. The Caudills weren’t much of a resource either; they had little information of Jessica’s past, and preferred to keep it that way. Jessica wasn’t a ‘problem child’ in fact, Dr. Boston was quite sure that unlike many of Jessica’s peers, Jessie was going to be just fine when the courts finally emancipated her. But there was something unsettling, a haunted look that came and went in Jessica’s eyes. If the Caudills had ever noticed it, they made no mention of it, nor wanted to know the fears that Jessica hid with all the bravado she could muster. Even with Jessica’s frankness in all of their sessions, and Jessica’s chosen outlet of martial arts, Dr. Boston watched how controlled Jessica held herself trying her best to be respectful of the Caudill’s opinions and judgments. When Dr. Boston had asked Jessica about her reaction, she nonchalantly replied, “I can’t really be angry with the mislead.” As Dr. Boston drove up, the taxi was pulling away and Jessica was waiting on the porch, she looked a little worse for the wear, but there was a trace of familiarity. As if getting up in the middle of the night was something that had happened often. She had one duffel bag and her backpack. She walked down to the car, and was surprised to see Dr. Boston in the car. Jessica put her things in the back seat and got in and buckled herself in. Jessie leaned back and sighed deeply. “Are you all right?” Dr. Boston looked in the rear view mirror as she pulled away. The haunted eyes scanned the mirror, then disappeared instantly bringing with it the steel and strength from Jessica’s eyes. “Yeah. I through the Caudills had finally given up on me and called my social worker.” Dr. Boston thought she heard a sniffle, but she didn’t let Jessie know she had heard. Something told her the girl had been through enough, her tears were a matter of pride. “Is that bad?” Dr. Boston pulled away from the curb and headed home. “I don't know. I'll have to go to a group home. I'd rather have that, I suppose.” “Well, I don't know, there are a lot of kids there, I don't think you like that too much.” “I don't. But it seems better than the Caudills at times. They're worse than a time bomb. At least I know when one of those are going to go off.” She was certainly not going to miss them. “What time do you have to be at school?” “Eight.” “All right, you and Christine can walk together, I'll get the twins off and I'll meet you after school.” Dr. Boston internally smiled, she had a sneaking suspicion that her diagnosis a few weeks ago wasn’t going to be far off the mark. Jessica hadn’t seen much of the town she lived in as Dr. Boston drove from the high end of town into one of its more reasonably priced neighborhoods. The streetlights pooled onto dark patches of the street broken occasionally by a curious cat swatting at a moth. The silence and uniform darkness of all the sleepy houses silhouetted against the solid blue night sky. The uneven reaches of evergreen trees and the town’s trademark ash and oak neighborhood trees broke the lines of the pre-designed homes. The car was parked and Jessie pulled out her things. Dr. Boston led her through the house to the guest room. Jessie helped her make the day bed. “If there's anything you need let me know. Try to get some sleep.” Dr. Boston gave a friendly smile left Jessica and went into her room. Jessie looked around and dropped her stuff on the floor. She shut off the light and crawled upon the bed. Jessie blew her nose with Kleenex she found in a packet on the side table drying her eyes on her sleeve. She was afraid that the Caudills, though she despised the way they handled issues, were never going to come back. During lunch, Christine found Jessie in the halls and caught up with her. Jessie almost blended in with the building among the bustling crowd of brightly individualized teens that filled the halls. Her gray flannel was untucked and billowed about her making her look fragile. Though the early morning had been dreary and thick fog had settled in town, the day was promising to be nice as the sun warmed up the afternoon air. “Jessica,” Hearing her name, Jessie stopped and waited for Christine to catch up with her. She had been a little worn today not having gotten a lot of sleep the previous night. She rolled up her shirt cuffs as she waited for Christine to cross the twenty feet swamped by students heading off to the cafeteria. Christine was difficult to spot as she fishtailed between all the students, dressed as so many of her fellow students were. “Call me Jessie, no one seems to understand that here. I prefer to be called Jessie.” Insisted Jessie as Christine drew closer. Jessie ran her hand through her hair and scuffed the tip of her shoe as she trudged off, slouching and sliding through the crowd with Christine close by. Christine nodded. “How has your day been so far?” asked Christine. “Eh, it’s okay.” Jessie scuffed the toe of her beaten tennis shoe. Tentatively she glanced around as the flood thinned out. “How do you like it here so far?” Christine tried to fill the odd moment with more small talk. “Physics is interesting, but the math program stops at Geometry. I’ve already cracked most of advanced calculus. I guess the American Literature classes are okay.” Jessie fell into step with Christine as they headed off to the lunch line. “Those are senior classes.” Christine looked at Jessie oddly. “Mr. Essenfield saw my transcript and reassigned my classes this morning.” It was definitely the happiest Jessie had ever sounded to her. “Are you actually that smart?” Christine was duly impressed. “It’s school work, there’s nothing I need to really understand.” She shrugged as she walked in step with Christine. “So what now? What happens when you finish senior year this year?” “Don’t know I guess I graduate and go and find something else to do with my life.” Jessie’s matter-of-fact nature caught Christine off-handed. Christine had never imagined that Jessie was more confident than herself. “Pretty amazing don’t you think?” “I never had a chance to think about it.” Jessie shrugged the small talk off as she paid for her lunch. Christine took the opportunity to wrench the door to Jessie’s life further. “So what else interests you?” “Sports, mostly math and science, although according to a teacher I had last year, my writing is pretty good.” Jessie put her tray down across from Christine. Donnie, the school bully, came around through the lunchroom with his three closest friends and grabbed Jessie by her collar. He lifted Jessie off the ground so they could make eye contact. They all tried to intimidate anyone who came near them by cracking their knuckles and making menacing faces. They all were tall and had lost the gangly unease of their early teen days. Donnie hovered over Jessie by nearly a foot more. Their bleached, gelled spiked hair would hardly make them the ‘bad boys’ of the campus if it weren’t for their fights with every boy in the school. And to date, they had never lost. “There you are. I want you to know that the Championship of Dragon Lord's belongs to me. I've been there longer. I don't care whether you are a higher belt. I'll win for the dojo. You got that?” His hair danced over his eyes as he bounced Jessie off the wall. Jessie twisted out of his grip, landing on her feet. “You know Christine, Jessica here is just trash, why don't you come with some real people.” It was Jared, Donnie's friend. Jared had been kicked off every sport team in school for either misconduct or grades. There wasn’t a girl in school that didn’t want to be with him. Except for Christine and now Jessie. “Will you just leave us alone.” Christine tried to push him away when Jared grabbed her arm. “Why don't you just admit that you like me?” He tried to steal a kiss. Christine followed suit with a stinging slap. Jessie slipped under Donnie’s lunge and pushed Jared back to the wall. “Why don't you hurt someone who can really fight back?” He squirmed, but Jessie held him against the wall, he flailed like a small bug. Donnie came up behind Jessie trying to grab her and throw her to the ground. Jessie immediately let Jared slide to the ground and taking Donnie’s arm, she flipped him into Jared. “Come on,” she tugged at Christine's backpack, grabbing her lunch and Christine’s and fleeing to the courtyard where the school staff wandered through unaware of what had just transpired in the lunch room. When they were in the shade of a tree that had been planted years ago, Christine asked, “How did you do that?” “I've been in martial arts for about eight years.” “Thanks for the hand.” Christine still had a residual amount of shock. Jessie was so calm. “No problem, but a word of caution for next time, slapping guys doesn't really do anything it usually gets guys like Jared just more interested.” She grinned and bit into a sandwich. “I'll remember that. Why haven't you ever talked to me in the halls before?” “I didn't need to.” “Don't you want to make friends here?” Jessie paused and then looked at her sandwich. She spoke slowly, confidently; she believed her words. “I've never lived anywhere long enough to make friends.” “Oh.” The drum of the cafeteria’s chatter seemed to swallow the comment. “After school, a few of my friends and I are going to the mall, do you want to come?” asked Christine. It seemed like a good idea Jessie needed to meet people at school anyway. “Isn't your mother picking us up?” Jessie paused before committing to the outing. “They'll pick us up at home.” Christine smiled. “We can call her and then walk home from the mall afterwards.” Jessie slowly came around, enjoying the idea of going out with someone and possibly making friends. “I guess. I don't have much to do any way.” Christine smiled; though odd, Jessie was calm. And there was something to believe about Jessie as well, though Christine couldn’t quite put her finger on it. The twins were always too young to understand, her mother too old. Jessie just sat there and listened, it was nice to have some one who understood. Jessie didn't mind either. She liked having someone her own age around too. Christine and Jessie came home and found the twins lounging on the floor. Christine went away to her room to study, Jessie found a spot on the dining room table that wasn't occupied by Dr. Boston's things. The twins were bored, but didn't want to turn on the television, Christine always yelled when she was studying, what would their guest do? Jessie looked up from her books; Christine's sisters were sprawled over the couch. “You know, I hate studying...I'd rather have something else to do. Want to go jogging with me?” Jessie sensed their apprehension, she added, “We'll go slow, but fast enough. Go ask your mother.” Jessie packed up her homework. The twins were eager, and ran to get their shoes. “What was that about?” Asked Dr. Boston coming in with a load of groceries. Jessie took a bag and went into the kitchen. “Is it okay if I take Sara Ann and Jamie with me on a run?” she asked. Dr. Boston didn’t look up as the mail caught her attention. “I guess, just be back before dark.” Jessie walked out and met the twins outside. Jessie hit the pavement and the twins ran after her. She had never had anyone who wanted to join her as much as the twins did. After half an hour, Jessie stopped. The twins were exhausted, and so was she. “Come on, we'll take it slow on the way back, we'll walk.” “Why don’t you have the same last name as the Caudills?” asked Sara Ann. “I’m not their daughter.,” she answered honestly. “But you’re living with them. Aren’t they going to adopt you? Lorie in my class is adopted.” “It’s not the same if you’re older.” “How come?” “Well, lots of people want to start with a baby. When you’re older, well, a lot of people try their best to raise you, but they make mistakes. Some people aren’t as open about the mistakes others have made. They want all the mistakes that have been made to be their own.” “How can someone make a mistake with raising a kid?” “Well,” Jessie scratched her head trying to figure out a way to tell them. “Okay, you guys know drugs are bad right?” The twins nodded. “Well, sometimes there are parents who don’t think that’s true and give their kids drugs. That’s a big mistake.” “And did that happen to you?” Jamie asked innocently, her eyes growing wide. Jessie clearly was worrying the twins. “Kind of, it’s a long story.” Jessie moved to brush off the topic. “What other types of mistakes can parents make?” Jessie realized that she was definitely out of her league with the questions that the twins were coming up with. “Parents make all sorts of mistakes, they can only hope that everything is going to turn out the best. Just like you growing up and making choices. You have to believe that God is on your side and that you’ve made your choice for the best of the decision.” She crossed her fingers hoping that this answer would satisfy Sara Ann. Somewhere in the back of her mind Jessie wondered if she was actually causing serious harm to either Sara Ann or Jamie’s sense of security. Jessie knew she had rambled too long for the seven-year-old twins. Jessie tried to grasp for something to relate to on the twin’s level. “It’s like knowing whether or not you should try a new flavor of ice cream to be adventurous or staying with your favorite flavor.” Sara Ann tugged Jessie’s arm. “Can it be like when parents get divorced?” Jessie opened the back door. She froze, realizing she had crossed a fine line. “Um, I think you better ask your mom that.” They got home in time for some television, a shower and dinner. At bedtime, there was no argument; the twins were exhausted. Jessie resettled on the dining room table to finish her homework when the twins returned briefly to hug their mother goodnight. “Can we give Jessie a hug before we go to bed?” Jamie whispered to her mother. Dr. Boston looked over to Jessie as she scribbled an answer down for her homework. “I think you should ask her, I don’t know if she likes hugs.” Sara Ann was not nearly as intimidated and wrapped herself around Jessie’s neck. “Hey, what’s going on, I thought you two were supposed to go to bed.” Jessie tugged on Sara Ann’s braids. “Just wanted to say good night.” They smiled sweetly up at her. “Okay.” She hugged Sara Ann and Jamie followed suit. Dr. Boston watched,; touched seeing a side that Nancy and Paul Caudill had never seen of Jessie. “I don't know what you did, but they only do this on soccer nights. I think you ought to do this for a living Jessica. Parents will be eternally grateful.” Joked Dr. Boston after the twins had gone to their room for the night. “Nah, I need to get out too.” Jessie scuffed the toe of her sneaker and then returned to her work. It was two in the morning, and Dr. Boston got up, unable to sleep and dreading her meeting in eight hours and slid out of bed to check in on the girls. She started with the twin’s room across from her own. The nightlight in the hall was glowing dutifully between the twin’s room and the bathroom. Thankfully, as she looked in on them, they were sleeping peacefully. Dr. Boston just picked up Sara Ann's soccer shorts from the floor and put them on top of the dresser, she pulled the sheet that Jamie had kicked away around her daughter. She quietly opened the door to Christine's room on the far side of the bathroom. Under all of what was a teenager's domain of piles of clothes and a flurry of old and current class notes, Christine was huddled in the corner of her bed. Dr. Boston relaxed and closed the door to her daughter's room, torn in her decision to berate her daughter’s ability to keep her room clean or just to let it slide as a habit that Christine would be forced to live with permanently. She opened the door to the guest room next to Christine’s room just as quietly. To her surprise, Jessica was not in her bed. Dr. Boston looked around, slightly worried. She had locked the doors herself, and the window wasn’t open. Jessie had gone to bed an hour after the twins and Dr. Boston hadn’t heard a sound from the room all evening. After the initial panic had swept her, Dr. Boston walked into the room looking around for evidence that Jessica was still in the house. The two duffle bags that Jessica had come with were side by side at the foot of the bed, undisturbed, and the one pair of worn shoes Jessica seemed to own were there too. Dr. Boston turned and looked around the sparse room. The door to the closet was ajar; on a whim, she opened it. In the darkest corner, Jessica was huddled and apparently awake. “Jessica.” She said softly crawling in to reach her. She reached for Jessica to help her out of the closet. To her surprise, Jessica didn't respond. Dr. Boston grimaced. “How long have you been doing this?” She asked out loud. Resisting the urge to wake her from the trance, Dr. Boston took a blanket off the end of the bed and tucked Jessie in it. “Get some sleep.” The words fell on deaf ears, but the reassured Dr. Boston. The event that caused her that shock must have been the reason she was in foster care. The next morning, Jessica was sluggish, but not any more so than Christine who had a full night’s sleep as well. She showed no other signs of distress. Dr. Boston worried; Jessica's memories, whatever they were, needed careful coaching to be brought to pass. Dr. Boston made a note in the folder she kept the Caudill’s case in when she arrived at work before her meeting. It was going to be a long day.
Posted 200311.30-RHM |