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When the initial panic of a seminar entitled �What it means to be a brother� came across my email,
I regretted that I couldn�t be there to hear what might be said. So I gathered my harried thoughts into
a pile and began writing but nothing could quite make sense. I could barely answer the question.
In sheer desperation with only a few days before Andronicus was to come together, I tossed a digital
file and sent it to Brother Ellars hoping he might be able to dig me out of the hole I�d created for
myself. Over and over again as I tried to come to the heart of the matter, the question lingered: What
does it mean to be a brother? It is the most difficult of the questions that continually face a member
of Alpha Rho Chi. Even considering the question at hand, I found myself wishing I hadn�t simply because
there aren�t easy and clear answers. We give lessons for fraternity history, togetherness, but this is
one of those life lessons best imparted by example. Easily taken for granted, brotherhood is also easily
mistaken at times for honest friendship. But between the blurred lines is the truth.
I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrifice.
And I was the one
who was lifting you up when you thought that your life had had enough.
When I get close you turn
away, there�s nothing I can do or say.
So I need you to tell me the truth, you know I�d do that for
you.-�Running Away� Instantly, when asked about the value of a brotherhood, I often find
myself turning to the publication that embodies the essence of brotherhood the Archi Pledge. Simply this
is the gateway for an exposure into making a �duck� look and talk like a �duck�. Among the prized
lessons from the Archi Pledge and their Andronicus Supplemental: The Values of Fraternity Membership
, Duty and Expectations, and Fraternity.
Perhaps the easier questions include: when did you know you were a brother? Who, among your fraternity
brothers, has been your model as a brother? With those answers in mind, it is perhaps easier to
identify such a personal choice in being a brother. When was the last time you stood up for a brother,
regardless of their being right or wrong, because they were being attacked by someone who wasn�t a
brother? Silence is as good as condemnation. It is not what you actually get: the intangible benefits
far out weigh any one item. Upon pledging, it is the intangible benefits of your potential membership
are gambled on. As you grow into your role as an active and eventually as an alumnus, those qualities
for which you were once noticed for as a potential pledge can be quite useful. It is a personal choice
on how to use them. For better or worse, you are a brother for life and will be asked in some capacity
will always use the skills you received with Alpha Rho Chi.
In a family, you can choose to
dislike or like a particular relative for any reason. Perhaps an uncle that smells of cigars, or the
cousin who showed you how to drive or even a particular sibling you may be close to.
It is always easier to view the green grass on the other side. But unless one is there day to day,
you can�t ever see the weeds. Ask yourself who best would fill your shoes should you leave tomorrow.
Have you talked to them lately of things not related to the politics of Alpha Rho Chi, but seriously
talked to them? Have you discovered things about them that you hadn�t discovered before? Who is least
like you and why? It is the differences that strengthen the bonds, not the similarities. Where one is
weak, another is strong. The lesson may have been too long for most of you to care about, but it will
always be the toll for which we are explored. It is the simple act of a member helping another
with an essay, picking up an extra cookie for another, or walking a brother home after a rough review.
Lost in the moment, that�s when the proof of being a brother comes to the surface. Those are the
moments that bind the chapter.
After these considerations, I came to this conclusion: being a
member, a brother, of Alpha Rho Chi means you sincerely live the values that were passed down to you
and do the best to impart this instruction and remind others through the examples of brotherhood we
aspire to.
At initial consideration, it sounds like an �official� piece, but when I remember
all the times I spent at Andronicus with my brothers, I know it�s true. There were countless times my
brothers gave me rides to places, even the places I was entirely able to walk to. And they still gave
me a lift after a lengthy tirade session of how they themselves needed to improve in some way. If I
was worried or needlessly negative, one or more of them wouldn�t mind reassuring me. I could count on
a hand when the trash can was too much for me to handle, and though half my ideas for improving the
physical house never made it past the kernel of an idea, someone listened. And today, while I still
continue to look for work, hundreds of miles from the nearest chapter, I still get encouragement and
help even if it is only in the form of a friendly email or a short phone call.
Living by the three basic lessons from which I derived this conclusion, The Values of Fraternity
Membership, Duty and Expectations, and Fraternity, is only the first step. The lessons heard over
and over again are testimony to what we believe. Remembering to help others remember is the key to
proliferating our goals as a chapter, as an alumni association and as a fraternity. Being a brother
is not a grand gesture that occurs only once in a while, or only when one feels compelled to do so.
It is the little efforts that make the impact over time. Spend five minutes with a member of
the chapter that for whatever reason you cannot fathom getting along with. Find the qualities that
first were attractive to making that person a member of the fraternity in the first place. Maybe
you�ll find out something you never knew about them. Being a brother doesn�t happen in a
night, it happens with time. Some are ready instantly after being a pledge; others grow into their
place. Though a brother may forget time to time, remind them with a little laugh, patience and the
reassurance that everyone is human. I wish I could be there with you all to hear exactly what
will go on, but that�s not where I can be. But I will leave you with these final thoughts:
Andronicus will live on and the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Whatever troubles are being faced, they will be passed, but it will take work from everyone,
and everyone must believe, even for moments at a time. And if it helps, I believe.
Fraternally,
Brother Renay H. Marquez
Pledge Class Band Joists Spring 1997 |
