| Movie Review of "Gosford Park" I�ve been getting some feedback about my reviews, about how some of them get onto such negative territory before going on to proclaim the movie as �excellent�. For those of you who haven�t read the RAQ yet, let me take a few sentences here to explain. Most of my review has little to nothing to do with how I liked the film. I will almost always give a mere few lines to the good stuff in the film. The purpose of my website is to poke fun at all the bad bits. So let me plunge my reviewing knife into �Gosford Park�, which recently parked itself into one of the 5 slots for the Best Picture Oscar. Those of you who have yet to watch this, well, it�s a take on the traditional murder-mystery but it sews in social commentary on the class structure in 1930s England as well. The whole �upstairs, downstairs� thing. It has a cast of thousands, literally, and if, like me, you walk out of the theatre not really knowing which blonde chick did what, or which smoulderingly suited dark-haired gent was which, I can fully empathise. But the magic of it is that you will get round to identifying them, because there are dozens of storylines bandied about, and you begin to identify the people based on that. So you recognise the characters based on labels like �oh, it�s that bitchy rich old bag again� or �it�s the stupid American� or �she�s married but pregnant with someone else�s child � right?� You know, easy like that. Plus, the downstairs (servants) take on the names of the upstairs (guests) with whom they are of service to, so watching this movie isn�t too similar to your first day at a new school where you�re inundated with a million faces and thousands of names. The film has been marketed as a whodunit, but there�s much more to it than that. In fact, the murder only takes place halfway into the film, and the first act is spent introducing the audience to all the characters and throwing a few red herrings here and there with respect to motive. Director Robert Altman redeemed himself after the atrocious �Dr T and the Women� (starring Richard Gere and Helen Hunt). The direction here is fantastic, especially as each scene flows seamlessly into the next, and how he utilises lighting and blocking to convey the different social networks at play within the mansion. The story is told largely from the point of view of Mary Macreachran (say that five times fast, oh wait, just try saying that at all), the servant to the acerbic and bitchy Countess Constance (played to perfection by thespian Maggie Smith). Mary Mac-please-spare-me is played by Diane from �Trainspotting�, otherwise known as Kelly Macdonald. I don�t blame you if you don�t remember her. She reached somewhat hot-air-balloonish heights with �Trainspotting� and then fell down to Earth faster than a 1950s Russian space satellite. By that I mean she disappeared off everyone�s radar, and then they found her somewhere in the Gobi Desert years after they stopped caring. Anyway, throughout the first act, which is spent introducing us to what is virtually the population of Vanuatu, given the sheer number of people in the cast, Altman (that�s the director) keeps on focusing on a certain bottle of poison somewhere in the servants� quarters. To the point where I was tempted to borrow the lipstick of the girl sitting next to me and scrawl �We Get It� on my forehead. Once all this is done, we get into the social interaction and plotlines galore! This one hates that one, this couple�s marriage is a scam, that woman is really bitchy and a total busybody, this couple�s broke but still tries to live the high life, all the servants talk behind their masters� and mistresses� backs. You�re forgiven for thinking that this entire movie is about Hollywood. Somewhere from out there runs Ryan Phillippe, who plays an American actor researching for his role as a Scottish servant or something like that. Thus, he puts on a �Scottish accent� and infiltrates the servants� quarters, all the time trying to seduce each and every single woman that�s walking about and below the age of 50. And you�re sitting there thinking : wow, sounds like quite a role. Ryan Phillippe must be quite a good actor with pretty incredible range. Well, to that, let me first point out that his �illustrious� acting history includes �I Know What You Did Last Summer�, �Anti-Trust� and �Cruel Intentions�. Although he has wisely chosen to stay well away from those teenage �romance� dramas (I�m looking at you, Freddie Prinze, Jr.), let�s just say that Ryan�s wife, the talented Reese Witherspoon, is currently earning, on average, five times what Ryan�s earning for a movie. So let�s just put it this way : Ryan�s actually an American actor, he�s pretty much in the servants� quarters as far as Hollywood is concerned, and he did try and seduce each and every single woman, and in the end, he did nail Reese when they co-starred on �Cruel Intentions�. That�s all I�m saying. You all can garble on about his �incredible range�, but not on my website. Oh well, at least Ryan can now put on his resume, �starred in a film nominated for a Best Picture Oscar�, which is one up on me. Plus, he has Reese. �Two up.� Plus, he�s a millionaire. �Three up.� Oh, but he sucks. �And we�re even.� So around halfway in the movie, one of the Vanuatuans plays the piano and we see someone walk behind Sir McCordle, and stab, stab, stab, stab him to death. Actually, there was just one stab, but if I don�t start dramatising this review a bit more, I might fall asleep at my computer. McCordle falls onto the floor. But of course, we all know that was a red herring. Because we all saw that bottle of poison. Didn�t we? Didn�t we? Anyway, someone decides to go check on McCordy and Track 11 from the �World�s Fakest Screams� CD (1,000 copies sold, and counting!) assaults my ears. Man, gotta find that CD. By the way, if you think I�m giving something away by telling you who exactly got stabbed, you think wrong. You read this, and you go watch the movie, and you�d still be figuring out who the Vanuatuans are at this point in the movie. And then the investigation carries on, and skeletons come tumbling out. Lady McCordy decides to confront her bereavement by engaging in some sexual healing with Ryan. I�d go for an easy joke here, but Lady McCordy is pretty much a whore, so I�d just let her mix with her own kind. Soon, our dear Mary Macintosh-rules (or have you forgotten about her?) figures out something and decides to confront two people whom I have not yet mentioned in my review, but are rather integral to the plot. But that would be giving it away, wouldn�t it? The movie ends, crime unsolved, as the door closes on �Gosford Park�. River Dawg�s Rating : It�s kinda falls flat after a while, but the script and direction are great. Somewhere in �Gosford Park� a HOUND DAWG lives. (What�s a HOUND DAWG? Check out R.D.�s rating system here.) Sound off!! Who is cooler : Ryan Phillippe or River Dawg? Did you think the movie really missed out by not having a dumb bimbo blonde? Did you figure out who the killer was the moment you saw him/her? Where is Vanuatu? Tell me here. |