Another Goo Story
By: Rebekah Parham
-22-
I went up to the recording booth I knew he would be using and listened to him finish the song he was singing. He walked out and smiled, "Sounded pretty good, don't you think?"
"Yeah, it did. John, can we go somewhere and talk?" I asked nervously
A sly grin spread across his face, "Ready for another round of our game, sweetheart?"
"No, that's not what I had in mind. I need to talk to you." Seeing how serious I was he suggested that we go to Breakdown. It was noisy and smoky as always but I was glad for the distraction. It relived some of the tension between us.
Knowing that John was waiting for me to start, I said, "I got a call from my mom this morning. She said my grandfather was in the hospital, and they don't think he is going to make it."
His expression changed to one of genuine concern. "Kayla, I'm sorry. Were you guys really close?"
Holding back the tears I nodded my head saying, "He and my grandmother knew how much I hated our small town and they were the ones that made it possible for me to move to Buffalo."
He folded his hands together on top of the table. "So I guess you will be going back home for a while," he said not looking at me.
"I don't know how long I am going to be gone, but I have talked with Zack and he promised to find you guys another manager...."
Cutting me off, John said, "Another manager? You're not going to be gone that long. Beside we can have another manager we are your baby remember. We wouldn't even be hear if it weren't for you."
"John please, you aren't making this any easier for me."
"Your right" he said standing up. "Thank you for everything that you have done for us," he said tightly walking toward the back exit.
I followed him out the door into the deserted ally between the Breakdown and an abandon building. "John, I don't want to leave things like this. Please don't be angry with me."
"Why should I be angry, after all don't girls like you plan these things in advance."
Stunned by that, "That wasn't called for."
"Oh Please don't give me that..." he murmured
Grabbing him by the arm, "Please nothing. You know how much I wanted to be there for you guys, to watch you succeed because I know in my heart that you will. But this was beyond my control there isn't anything I can do," I said pleading with him. ,"I know we haven't always gotten along but I do care about you. You and Robby and George, you guys have become like family to me. Brothers of sorts."
He jerked around so swiftly that I nearly jumped, "I don't want to be your brother," he said bringing his lips forcefully down on mine. I was suddenly pressed so hard against the brick wall that I was sure I would have permanent indentions on my back for the rest of my life. But I wasn't thinking about the pain. We both knew that this was wrong and it wasn't going to change anything, but none of that mattered. We were to overwhelmed by the burning need to be closer.
God give me strength, I prayed, but mine had completely run out. I wrapped my legs around his waist and continued to pray that he didn't come to his senses and stop. For months we knew this was going to happen but this was never the way either of us imagined it would happen. We clawed at each other like two dogs in heat. Desperate to be closer, we finally came together in the most intimate way possible. As soon as we had both found our release, the realization of what we had just done came crashing down on us. We had just had sex in an ally behind a dirty, smoke filled bar.
My legs, that had been wrapped around John, were now planted firmly on the ground. After John made sure that I could stand on my own, he turned away in disgust. Disgusted with himself, and what he had just done. Their mating hadn't been out of love it had been out of pain and anger.
Still not looking at her John said, "Kayla..."
"Don't, please, don't apologize."
"I wasn't going to," he said crudely. We both stood in silence for a moment, neither of us daring to look at the other. When he finally did have the nerve to look at me his eyes were cold and showed no signs of emotion. "Well, we have been wondering what that would be like for months. Good thing we got it out of the way before you left," he said walking past me back into the club.
I didn't follow him. I let the tears that I had been holding back fall as I picked up my coat and began walking back to the apartment. What started so many months ago as hatred, turned into passion, and had ended in regrets. Regrets that we would both carry for a long time to come.
-23-
Reagan and I left for South Carolina the next morning. As we waited for the plane to take off, she brought up the subject that I knew was coming sooner or later. "You got in so late last night that I didn't have time to ask you how things went when you told the guys."
Hearing the flight attendants warning that the plane was ready to take off, we fastened our seat belts. I had never enjoyed flying. I always had this fear in the pit of my stomach of crashing into a mountain I knew the I knew the turmoil that my head and heart were gong through right now had nothing to do with us being twenty thousand feet from the ground. I hadn't responded to Reagan's question and when she pressed further for answers I told her that I was sleepy and didn't want to talk about it. It was dropped but never forgotten.
Reagan and I spent ten months back in our home town. I got a job at the bank. It was a job, but it didn't give me the thrill that I felt when I was working with Artie or the guys. For a while Robby kept in touch. Always asking me if I was ready to come back to them. After a while the phone calls became less and less until we had completely lost touch. I still kept up with everything they were doing. Zack let me know that he had found them a new manager, Pat Magnarella. He was well known for jump starting a band's career. They seemed to work well together, and the boys were now back on tour.
Reagan met me after work one day. "Hey, how are things going?" she asked
"Pretty good I guess," not sounding as convincing as I wanted to be. Reagan knew that I wasn't happy here. That I never had been and she wasn't either.
"Why are we still here?" Reagan asked as we got into her car.
Turning to reach my seat belt I laughed, "Because you haven't started the car yet."
Touching my hand she said softly, "Why are we still in this town? I know you're not happy here working at a bank."
I shrugged in off, "It's just a job."
"A job you hate," she said emphatically as she started the car. "Kayla, you use to love to go to work. You ate, slept and dreamed about making musicians into stars. Why has that changed?"
"It hasn't. I would still love to do that but I don't think there is going to be much talent found in this one horse town," I said looking out the window as we drove past buildings that hadn't changed in twenty-five years.
"We could move back to Buffalo, or California," Reagan suggested. "You know I would go with you if that's what your worried about."
"That's not it," I said.
"Then what is it? You have wanted to get out of this town your entire life, don't tell me that you have finally learned to love it."
"No, I haven't."
"Then lets go. Lets pack everything up and just leave. Your dream was to start your own promotion company for up and coming bands. You could do that." She said pulling the car into a parking space. "Your family has adjusted from the loss of your grandfather, and you know that he would want you to be happy. He wanted you to go the first time we left.," she said as we got out of the car at a park we use to play at when we were kids.
Walking down to a nearby pond I said, "Reagan, it's not that simple. I'm not eighteen years old anymore. I still can't be chancing some childhood fantasy that may never come true."
"Might not come true!" she said raising her voice. "When did you ever want something that you didn't make happen? Stop giving me these pitiful excuses and tell me the real reason you don't want to leave."
I picked up some rock off the ground and started throwing them into the pond. I watched the last one skim across the water and knew Reagan was waiting on an answer. "Does your not wanting to leave have anything to do with what happened that last night with John."
I had never told Reagan about what had happened that night but I knew she always sensed something. Every time a family member would asked me something about the guys I would only talk about Robby and George. I always changed the subject whenever John's name was brought up. She wasn't dumb, she knew something was up but respected me enough not to ask.
"Kayla, if you're afraid of running into them again I don't think that will be a problem. They are still on tour right now and when they finish, they will go back in Buffalo."
"How do you know this?" I asked turning to face her
"I talked to Artie the other day. He seems to think their big break is just right around the corner."
"I'm sure it is," I whispered.
Coming to stand in front of me she said, "You wouldn't let those guys walk away from their dream anymore than I am going to let you walk away from yours. Now you decide where you want to live, because come Monday morning we are out of this one horse town. Even if I have to tie you and gag you the whole way." This got a laugh from both of us. It felt so good to laugh with her again, and I knew Reagan was right. It was time that we left. I would just put all my energy into work so I wouldn't have time to think about John.
-24-
Putting all my energy into work is exactly what I did. Reagan and I arrived back in LA at the end of May. That was five years ago. Since then, I started a small promotion company, DreamMaker. I had made a name for myself with the local club and bar owners, record promoters and agents. Zack was a big help starting DreamMaker. I would tag along with him on business trip, and dinners to meet all the right people. We started out as friends and over time it grew into something more. I insisted that we take things slow. How much slower can you get than a five year courtship? We had been engaged for almost six months. . We were both busy people and didn't have a lot of time together so we hadn't even started planing the wedding. Reagan had too found an interest in the music business. She had become my assistant, and claimed that she loved every minute of it.
I still kept up with the guys. They finally had their big break with a song called, Name. I was so proud of them. The first time I heard the song, Reagan and I were in the car. We screamed so loud that we were pulled over and given a ticket. I was saddened to read that because of some differences, George had decided to leave the band. He had been replaced by a drummer named Mike Malinin. I knew of him but had never personally met him.
I still thought of them everyday. It was no longer and every other minute thing, but usually when I would watch a new band perform. I would think of the first time I saw them play and remember the fire they all shared.
I was in my office listening to a demo tape of a new client when, Mary, my secretary, told me I had a phone call. I picked up the phone, "This is Kayla."
"Kayla, this is Robby. How are you?"
Surprised was the only word to describe me at that moment. "I'm fine, and yourself?"
"Not too good, I need to talk to you. Would it be all right if I come to your office?"
"Of course you can, but what is this all about?"
"I tell you when I get there. See you in ten," and then the connection was dead. Ten minutes seemed to drag on forever. What could Robby possibly want with me. Finally I heard Mary's voice say that he could come into my office.
I got up and went around the desk to hug him. I five years he hadn't changed much. He still wore a big grin on his face, but his hair had been dyed red in place of it's usual brown. "It's so good to see you. I have missed you so much," I said hugging him tightly.
"It has been a while. I never dreamed we would be apart for five years."
"Yeah," I said stepping out of his embrace. "To what do I own this unexpected honor?"
He sat down in one of the two overstuffed chairs in front of my desk. His grin had faded, "I wish it were under more pleasant circumstances"
"What are you talking about. Is something wrong? Are you hurt?" I asked becoming worried.
"No, no one is hurt, but something is wrong. John doesn't know I'm here," Robby said looking around. "Kayla, I don't know what happened between you two, and I don't care. That's between you and John, but if you can help us in any way..."
"Robby, what are you talking about, your beginning to scare me."
"I suppose you know that Mental Boys records merged with Warner Brothers a couple of years ago." Nodding my head, Robby continued, "When we signed with Mental Boys seven years ago, we didn't read the fine print and it looks like we owe the record company fifteen thousand dollars."
"What? That can't be. You guys have been touring for almost six years straight. Didn't your album just sell two million copies?"
"Yeah, it did, but they still say we owe them money. I know that we aren't your problem anymore, but I was wondering if you would help us?" he said, his eyes hopeful.
"Robby, you know I would do anything for you, but I don't understand what you want me to do."
"You seem to know a lot of the right people. Maybe if you were to talk to them, talk to Zack.."
Coming out of my seat, I said, "Zack knows about this?"
"Yeah he was the one that we talk to when we got our dividen check telling us we owed them money. I thought he would have told you," Robby said uncomfortably.
"No, he didn't, but I will find out what is going on."
"I didn't mean to cause trouble or anything. We heard that you were engaged."
"We?" I asked
"John was the one that told me you were engaged," Robby said.
"Oh," I said my mind drifting back to that last night with him. Mentally shaking myself back to the problem at hand I said, "I will do all the damage control that I can. You are going to have to give me a little time to talk with some people and get an understanding of just how serious your problem is. Can I call you when I find out something?"
"Sure," he said writing down his number and address on a legal pad that was sitting on my desk. "Kayla, you have no idea how much I appreciate this."
I just looked up and smiled at him as he left. I didn't know what Zack is thinking but I planned to find out.
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