Partners of Survivors - Partners of survivors go
through many of the same feelings as survivors do. Answers and
support are needed during this time but is hard to come by. To
help partners get the support needed there is an unmoderated
discussion list available here. Scroll down for
resources.
http://www.survivors-and-friends.org/
Survivors and
Friends is a non-profit organization that was founded by
annie, a Survivor of sexual abuse herself. Survivors and
Friends exists to provide hope, encouragement, and support for
survivors of sexual abuse, their friends, and their
family.
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2656/
Dedicated to
the non-offending parent and to all those who have suffered
the hurt of someone they love being abused or raped.
Contains these resources:
Survivors and Friends
offers
support, encouragemnt, information and a voice to Survivors,
Friends, and loved ones.
Survivors of Sexual Assault
Partners and Allies of Sexual Abuse
Survivors.
This has a
variety of information on it as well as ordering information
on several books.
Loved Ones of Sexual Abuse
Verbuendete
The German
word for Allies, this psychology student (and survivor's
partner) is creating a survey for other partners to take. If
you can help him with his research please click the link
above.
Sexuality
http://www.angelfire.com/or/emergence/bloodygardenias.html
This site has information about how to make romantic
relationships work post assault. "this section of
emergence is dedicated to a particular area of healing, that
which involves romance, love, and sexuality. this
is one of the hardest areas of healing for me, i know, and
many others have also expressed this."
Keeping the kisses
sweet emphasizes the survivor feeling safe in
romantic situations without feeling pressure. "work
on being comfortable with your lover. cuddle, hold hands, kiss
lightly, brush each other's hair, spend plenty of time
together. it will help you build trust and establish
familiarity with your lover, and this way more intense
physical contact won't be as much of a shock."
LGBT resources for partners of assault
victims
http://danenet.wicip.org/dcccrsa/saissues/lesbian.html
"It is
obvious that a sexual assault affects not only the victim, but
those closest to her. However, unlike straight couples, in
which the man may be sympathetic but basically a stranger to
the issue, assault may be a personal experience for both
partners in a lesbian relationship. "More often than not,"
comments a woman who has counseled victims of anti-lesbian
violence, "when you're dealing with a lesbian couple, you're
dealing with someone who's been raped ten years earlier, and
someone who's been raped recently." In other words, so many
women are victims of assault at one point in their life that
one woman's assault can trigger upsetting or traumatic
memories in her lover. This may either allow the partner of a
rape victim to be especially supportive; or it may lead to
tension and distance if she is unable to cope with her own
memories. And like all partners of rape victims, the partner
may feel inadequate for not having protected her lover
properly, or even angry at her lover for letting the assault
happen. All of these reactions are common ones, and a
combination of both individual and couple counseling is
generally recommended when a lesbian couple is affected by an
anti-lesbian assault."