Act I Scene I the three goons: tucker(1st), corson(2nd), and domi(3rd) in a forest, around a cheap forgery of the Stanley Cup 1st goon: may the cup rest above the arms of out men as this spell is cast; 2nd goon: and let our previous defeats to MacSens be our shameful past; 3rd goon: beware! Beware! Our loosing ways shall be victorious at last! [sings while wildly waving broken hockey sticks] Together: ohhh good ol?hockey game, it�s the best game you can name, and the best game you can name, is the good ol?hockey game? Scene II enter MacLeafs and his best friend BanQuinn MacLeafs: so foul and fair a day I have not seen. Banquinn: what are you talking about? Don�t send subliminal messages criticising the refs or I�ll get fined again by king Bettman. Scene III Enter the three goons Together: all hail brave MacLeafs, the one who will defeat MacSens and bring the cup to us! [vanishes mysteriously] MacLeafs: what are these hideous creatures who I�ve put on my team while on crack? And why do they speak of the cup as TO�s when the goddess of the leafs ?our highness cujo ?cursed us with a cup drought? Banquinn: sorry what did you say? I was too busy badmouthing MacSens and warding off our fans?remarks of �Quinn sucks? My feelings are deeply hurt, I will now kill myself. [kills oneself] MacLeafs: noooooooooooooooooooooooooo Act II missing Act III Scene I Enter King Bettman and MacSens, on their way to MacLeafs?castle on Loserhill King Bettman: what a beautiful day. MacSens: appearances can be decieving. At castle MacLeafs: my beloved king and honourable soldier! Welcome! [ghost of BanQuinn appears, only seen by MacLeafs] ghost: kill the king�kill the king! [loud music, dramatic exit] Scene II Soliliquy MacLeafs: is that my old friend BanQuinn which I see before me; With his wrinkled and quivering fingers pointing at the king? Oh crap, the king just sat on him and smooshed him. I didn�t know you could die twice. Eesh. Because of my love for that man, I shall kill the king? In his sleep! Mooohahahahahahahahaw MacSens: shall we leave my king? That lunatic is laughing at himself, and we all knew he�d go crazy one of these days. King Bettman: yes. Immediately. [gets up to leave] MacLeafs: wait! Don�t leave! [runs, grabs knife, kills king, runs away cowardly] Act IV Scene I MacLeafs runs into the forest to consult the three goons MacLeafs: if I wanted to win the cup, who shall I challenge? 1st goon: you will defeat any man born of a woman. 2nd goon: you will be defeated only when the trees on Loserhill start eating eachother. 3rd goon: you idiots! You don�t know what you�re talking about. [punches other two goons, kills them] 3rd goon: what have I done? [kills himself] Apparition: beware of Macduff! MacLeafs: who�s Macduff? Could he be the sweet sweet Duffman? Apparition: No, I meant beware of MacSens, Macduff just slipped out. [giggles] MacLeafs: then I shall be stupid and challenge the one and only MacSens. [evil and plotting music] Scene II MacLeafs gets lost in the forest Scene III MacLeafs cries for his mommie Scene IV MacLeafs finally realizes that the path exiting the forest was right behind him. He blames his hereditary idiocy and ignorance, and heads toward MacSens?castle on Victorymountain. Act V Scene I At MacSens?castle, gets out glove MacLeafs: slap! I challenge you to a duel, I mean to the cup, will you accept or be a coward like me? MacSens: of course I�ll accept ma�am, uh I meant sir. [coughs] MacLeafs: then I shall see you. Scene II At the rink, MacLeafs realizes that he brought his dueling equipement by mistake, and Kerry Frasier forces him to forefeit. MacLeafs kills Kerry Fraser. MacLeafs is now officially insane. He runs into a tree branch and dies. MacSens inevitably wins the cup. MacSens: let this be a lesson for all you MacLeafs out there: you never win.