[11.17.04]
Written by: PWFSI Associated Press

Winning Bad for Your Health

Week 10 -- Tieing a franchise high six wins did not bode well for Green Bay Slacker owner Dave S. this week. The excessive partying from the early wins this year took a toll on his body to where he was hospitalized through the weekend. This certainly was felt during and after the 161-107 loss to the Ridicule this week.

Slacker on the field leader, Favre, played a stellar game driving the team within field goal range many times giving plenty of opportunities to place-kicker A. Vinatieri. However, the Slacker Defense could not stop anyone as the Player of the Week, Peyton Manning, and the rest of the Ridicule crew shreded Green Bay to go on a post the second highest regular season score in PWFFL history.

Manning spoke to the press after the game.

"Its not like we intended to kick the team while they were down, but we needed the win. If we are to reach our goal in recapturing the Bribin Cup, we need to win games like this. That means we need to beat great teams when we have the chance. Personally, I don't know why our coach left a great free agent wide reciever, that we recently acquired, on the bench when that scrub McDonald was allowed to play. Luckily, it didn't have effect on the final outcome because those sissys across the field were too busy sobbing over their fallen leader."

Doctors have indicated at the time of this writing that Dave may miss next week's big game against Kalamazoo also. Slacker fans are hoping that their players will be motivated and properly prepared for the emotional game. The Ridicule start their swing against their division opponates early when they take on the hot W. Palm Beach Chads.

Kalamazoo 132, N. Michigan 81
These two owners have battled in many leagues already this season with Yooper owner Jon coming out on top in all the previous meetings. This was time for Puck to get his revenge. Culpepper and Burleson connected several times to defeat the heavily injured Yooper squad that has fallen far below pre-season projections. There has been a lot of coaching snafus over the year for the Yoopers, but this one was not one of them as they didn't have a chance to defeat the Viking powerhouse sans Randy Moss. N. Michigan gets the second half of the one-two punch as they take on the Slugs who were steadily snatching away victories with their low scoring.

Detroit 64, Seattle 57
Speaking of the Slugs, they finally got run over the same way they have been beating teams all year long. The Drive stopped Seattle's eight game winning streak this week thanks to none other than former Slug, Eddie George. The new additions of Horn and Lewis, former Vikings, have had a big impact on this year as Horn is easily the team's MVP. Carr, thought to be the quarterback savior for Seattle, has been a disappointment posting another negative week for the Slugs. Seattle will get Tomlinson and Droughns back from their vacations next week against the Yoopers. Detroit will play a pivotal game against the red-hot Rocko Bengals next.

W. Palm Beach 128, Wisconsin 89
The Chads built off last week's win with another impressive victory of one of the leagues elite. The Delhomme/Muhammad connection worked impressivily for W. Palm Beach as the air game dominated the Wannabes. Wisconsin, on the other hand, is missing their most valuable player in Priest Holmes. Holmes is listed against as questionable for week 11 and could possibly miss the very important Timbuktu game.

Rocko 82, Benton Harbor 54
Something is in the water out here in Rockingham. The Rocko Bengals, thought to be done for the year, have turned around there season and still have a real shot a a playoff spot only one game back. McNabb came through huge in this game to post a must win victory over the last place Hoodlems. Benton Harbor owner Angela is already fielding offers from other owners to trade some of her players before the trade deadline. She loses the rights to all the drafted and protected Benton Harbor players when the Hoodlems franchise is retired. She looks to climb out of last place next week when she faces the similarly hapless England Teasers.

Timbuktu 87, England 81
The Teaser's smoke and mirrors era is really hurting the team this year. The tough schedule is about to get rougher. If England doesn't win next week against the Hoodlems, there is a good chance that they won't win again the rest of the year with games against Kalamazoo, Seattle, and Rocko left on the dockett. Timbuktu is making a case to actually make the playoffs, despite the President's predictions before the season started. If they manage a victory over the Wannabes, this group of aging veterans has a real chance in upsetting a lot of folks with their playoff berth.

Coach of the Week: Benton Harbor Hoodlems
Player of the Week: Peyton Manning (QB-RI)