 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
The Jordy Incident (and then some)
(This is writen from Keith's point of view. "I" refers to him.)
It all started when my parents finally decided to let me go to a party. Daniel (a German exchange student) picked me up at about 9:30 and we went to a local convenience store to wait for Nicole to get off work so we could go to the party. While I was waiting Jody, George and these three chicks from Colington came into the store. I really didn’t get a good look at any of the chicks. All I knew was that they were going to the party too. At 10:00 Nicole got off work and we headed out. When we got there I started to drink heavily and smoke a lot of weed. I was chugging whiskey and beer like there was no tomorrow and every two minutes there seemed to be a pipe in my face. After I was extremely hammered and could hardly see anything, Jody came up to me and told me that one of the chicks liked me. So he pointed her out and asked if I wanted to meet her. I told him “sure”.
“You see this chick right Keith?”
“Sure.”
“No Keith, you REALLY see her and want to meet her?”
“Yeah.”
“OK.”
Meanwhile while Jody was asking me questions George was standing by us saying,
“Keith, you don’t want to meet her, stay away from her.”
I didn’t listen to George. SO I went to meet her. Her name was Jordy. We partied there for a little bit longer then decided to go to another party. On the way to the other party Jody, Jordy and I sat in the back seat. Jordy and I started to make out, disgusting the hell out of Jody (poor bastard). Once we got to the party everybody else got out of the car and Jordy and I continued to make out. Then I got the bright idea to use one of my patented pick-up lines on her,
“Take your clothes off, I want to see your body.”
She wasn’t too impressed by my attempt at charm and thus stormed off.
The end….
Now for some more tidbits of info from that night brought to you by Jody:
1. We left the first party because it was being raided by the cops for minors, which we were. Oh yeah, and when I introduced Keith to that chick, I was already hammed and I tried to warn him as much as I could in my drunken state. In my defense, he’s dated worse.
2. I was supposed to drive that night but then I really felt like drinking and ended up having a couple so I asked George to drive, who I thought was sober. He was probably more drunk than me at that point but then he basically stopped drinking. So that’s why I ended up in the back seat of my own car.
3. At the next party we went to there was a trampoline. I was very drunk and watching other drunk people jump on it. I thought to myself, “I better not go on that, I’ll end up hurting myself in this state.”
Then I seen someone do a really crappy flip and I thought,
“I’ll show them how to do a real flip!”
So I got on the trampoline, jumped a few times, attempted to flip forward and landed on my face. I then bounced off my face, started flipping the other way, and landed backwards on my neck. Needless to say I was very sore… I was also bleeding from the hole I put in my face doing this little stunt. That’s when I went inside the house to stop the bleeding and ended up laughing at Keith.
4. I was laughing at Keith because someone painted his face after he passed out, this would be after his little pick up line. Poor Keith, we all know the humiliation of a well painted face.
5. I don’t remember how I got home that night but I’m guessing it was in my car and George drove… oh yeah, George got pickled that night.
Keith’s moral of the story: I’m never trusting Jody to hook me up with girls again.
Jody’s moral of the story: When drunk do not do the following… operate bouncy equipment, start a dating service, or drive your own vehicle when another drunk is willing.
Back to the Scoop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
