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Insane Child
To fully understand who and why I am the way that I am you must see what I was as a child. Let this be a stern warning to all those expecting parents out there... if your child does or acts like the one in this picture, feed it to the wolves and chop off your nut sack. There shouldn't be another like this...
Here I'm pissed off. Do you see fear in these eyes? Fear this child, if you fear nothing else. (Also fear evil week)
Ah, Jody Ryan Pratt and his very first chocolate cookie. Believe it or not I was a much cleaner eater back then. No gravy on my back in this picture. (As far as I know.)
Yes, I wore an eye patch. The reason being that I'm pretty much blind in one eye. Can you guess which one? I wore that patch because of corrective eye surgery. It also helped fight off my nicotine cravings.
Here is not only a past representation of myself, but also a clear prediction for the future. I had more of a beer gut when I was a baby... hmmm, what did I eat back then?
Wonder why the call me "Glutton"? It's because even as a child I'd take my food in as fast as humanly possible. Here, it's thanksgiving. I wasn't supposed to start eating until after the picture. Notice how much food is left on my plate as compared to my brothers.
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