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The Crew
THE BOYS
 Jody (the Glutton) Pratt - This sexy stud is me. I'll be twenty as of November 8th of 2004. I eat like there's no tomorrow, fuck like an orangutan, and enjoy my own company on a regular basis.
 George (Paul When Drunk) Vanderburg - One of my crazier friends. George is nineteen, exactly two months younger than myself. George's maturity is comparable to a blind rabbit in heat. George only remembers about 10% of his life because he forgets everything when he's drunk.
 Cody (Frost) Sorotsky - He's normal, to an extent and he's nineteen. He drives an Avenger, has more tattoos than any of these other guys, and drinks on a regular basis. You'd think he's a tough guy if he wasn't pussy wipped.
 Teilon (Has Weed) Verville - This one's barely legal, so get em while he's still fresh ladies. Eighteen and stoned, what more could you want? If it wasn't for that horrible rash on his ass he'd be good to go.
 Nolan (Where's the bitches at?) Verville - At sixteen Nolan is the youngin of the guys. Don't fret girls, there's someone for you in our group too. When he's not puking in my car because of date-rape pills or hitting on older women, Nolan likes to get pissed.
 Travis (I don't give a fuck) Cartwright - When he's not around I call him "Phat Travis". That's not an insult, this guy could pound the shit out of guys twice his size. He's big, mean, and seventeen. I love you man! But please dude, quit sending me those nude pictures. Some things are better left untold.
 Jason (I need a beer) Petrock - This guy has it all. A computer, long hair, a job at the gasbar and a record for the world's smallest dick. Well that last one might not be true but I haven't heard him bragging about it or anything.
 Keith (muh) Spaidal - When he's not macking on the pre-teens Keith likes to try to act like he's actually eighteen. Keith's been on a winning streak with the ladies but he's made his mistakes. I guess, "Take your clothes off, I want to see your body," isn't the best pick up line, eh Keith.
 Kyle (I'm a geek) Picard - Kyle was a genetically altered baby. Or at least that is my best explanation for his strange behavior. Little is known about this elusive creature other than it loves videogames and taping the eldarly.
 Edgar (Peanutbutter Cup) Clouchiu - Nobody cares how old Edgar is. He's getting mentioned because the story about his ass getting packed with peanut butter was probably the funniest and most disturbing I've ever heard.
 Dennis (Scoves) Scoville - Dennis and I used to hang out back in the day. Times change, friends change, but one thing I'll always remember about Dennis... he has the hots for Mark Walbert. Fuck man, it's a DUDE! Give me a little Tera Reid and that's all I'll ever need.
 Justin (The Crazy Guy)- I'm not even sure what his last name is. I just met him the other night at George's and Jason told me he was a crazy mofo. So I added him, cuz crazy mother fuckers are worth talking about in my books (or on my sites).
THE GIRLS
 Faith (Woa Man) Vanderburg - Faith is a hippy. As is customary for me, I will not make fun of a girl. Although she is the sister of one of my best friends. Faith, all I have to say is get drunk, get stoned, and get fucked. Words to live by baby!
 Cheryl (Permafried) Napo.. Napu... ah forget it - I have no idea how to spell her last name, but I can pronounce it so that's all that matters. She's not from our town, she lives near Newbrook and Thorhild. Cheryl and Keith used to date, Keith introduced her to booze and drugs. She drank til she puked and smoked pot until she wasn't the same person. She's back to normal (well, as normal as she ever was) and a good note for Keith, at least this one was legal.
 Tif (I want my cat back) Michaud - This is my ex. I still think of her as a friend but damn girl, give my cat back! That girl is my baby (the cat). Anyway, I could say things on two spectrums here so to balance it out I will say nothing. Oh yeah, Tif and Cheryl are best friends.
 Bonnie (Boney) Spence - Bonnie moved to the city so there's little in the area of new stories to tell. But some of the old pictures are funny as hell. Hey Bonnie, close your legs!
 Becca (You're Really Freaking Me Out) Twain - Becca, a hyper animal wannabe (refer to fur coat) has been hanging around (against our will) for sometime now. She's recently started dating George (against his will) and is quitting smoking (against her will). Somewhere along the line someone put a foot-in-the-door for her (and we have yet to hunt that person down with silly-string). ANYWAY, yeah, she's the shiznic ;) Yo Bec, a holla' to ma' gal! On the down-low, KEEP IT REEEEEAL... okay, I have to lay off the coffee.
Victoria (Yeah, wait... huh-what? No.) Foisy - Yhis is my girlfriend Victoria... oh wait, no it isn't. It's another picture of BECCA... hmm, that should be punishment enough, hon. I'll give you a real profile when you give me a picture to use. Until then, you share pictures with Becca.
Amanda Hugnkis - This is Becca's sister. Well, not exactly. I don't have a picture of her either so she shares with Edgar. At least it's better than sharing with Becca though. Speaking of sharing, Amanda likes to share... if you know what I mean. *wink wink*. She shares EVERYTHING. Except for the stuff she doesn't share. What a bitch!
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