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When You Can't Steal, Give
Our beloved George has so many stories to tell, but where to begin? How about with one of the first ones I ever heard. A matter a fact, I think this story was the first thing I ever heard about George period.
He was young, grade 5 I believe. The mood; happy. The feeling; pissed. Drunk out of his mind a dysfunctional George decided he would rob the local ATM. With little tools more than his wit, he started ripping apart the machine bit by bit. He busted and smashed and ripped it all up. Not an alarm went off, not a cop in sight. Everything seemed good, dandy and fine. George would soon get away with this crime.
But evidently, when he was ready to take. He ran into a thick steel plate. So instead of taking a few screws out, remember, no tools. He pulled down his pants and let a steamy one out.. He took a crap like you wouldn’t believe, way back then on that ATM. Geez.
George then took the broken pieces of the ATM and hid them all over town. One at a time, coming back for each piece after the last was hidden. Later the police, who didn’t know until the next day, would make George find all the pieces. The cop even told him if he took those few screws out, he would have had the money. George couldn’t believe he took a shit on the machine though.
Moral of the story: When you can’t beat them, shit on them.
Back to the Scoop
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