Most wanted drag queens - a REAL threat!

Be on the look out for the following individuals who have infiltrated British society and are today planning a terrifying attack on the British public most likely during pantomime season or in the house of fraiser.

	Sandra Bruce-Lockhart It is believed this could be one of the most dangerous drag artists in Britain. Leading drag investigators think that Sandra could be behind one of south Brighton's biggest prostitution rings responsible for a dramatic rise in syphilis. Biological warfare is certainly a threat. Sandra was last seen leaving her parents house in Maidstone, Kent where her father is a leading local councillor. She is highly dangerous and must not be approached (even for a light).
	Mrs Lilly Savage 28 year old Lilly Savage was last seen driving down the M6 in a blue ford fiesta with a cream coloured 1973 caravan in tow. It is now believed she is running an illegal cockle picker farm in Morecambe bay. Miss Savage is likely to bite animals and small children. She has been known to attack the public with nails and hairspray.
	Ru Paul Known as 'Ru Paul' in the criminal underworld, this American drag artists has not yet made it to the UK. Although it is feared she could be making her way here soon, to what end we do not know. She is also easy to spot as she is infact black, especially easy if you live in Maidstone.
	Dame Edna-everidge An Australian illegal immigrant, Edna made her way into Britain via an illegal shipment of illegal asylum seeking refugees and now resides in Salford. Authorities are currently checking the area for Mrs Everidge, but there are reports of her fleeing the area to nearby Stockport, which has more affordable council housing. The Australian government have denied all knowledge and responsibility of Everidge,
	Unknown Threat Last spotted outside a hotel in Brighton it is unclear what type of threat this individuals presents to the British Public. Some fear she may try to infiltrate the extreme wings of British Politics and impose an oppressive regime. Intelligence suggests she is behind a recent plot to attack central London with ammonium peroxide.

All the above individuals are HIGHLY DANGEROUS and must not be approached at all costs!

Update! "Osama-Bin Lady"
MFi's most wanted criminal is still on the loose. Charged with stealing milk from millions of school children this suspect is still at large, despite rumours of her imminent demise. Osama-Bin Lady was last seen taking the trash out near the house of lords, rumour has it baroness young was seen being bundled into a large black bin-liner. More soon... For details on combating Bin-Lady and other terrifying drag queens like her see the government's new terror advice website  http://www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk/ (which is infact not for real but it's a great laugh and we had a great chuckle). The real website is here but we think it's bumblesquat.