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Found: A Spy Lost
I run to the shadows
Run. Run. Run quick
And make sure you never turn back
They're after you
they'rethisclose
they'rethisclosetofindingme
nooneshouldfindme
ihaventfoundmeyetsonooneelseshould
I sit on a small space, not meant for me
Shake myself, recollect, regroup, thinkthinkthink...
This thing hurts my ass.
I've swung onto a diner stool.
And I've thrust my face into the waitress's
Pretty girl's alarmed, eyelashes at a dramatic pause
Pen blotting a growing spot of purple
On the page of her bland notepad.
Her lips parted, she follows the script,
Oh wait, she's already spoken, already spoken
Held her breath
And I'm supposed to say something back
Get me out of here.
No. Can't happen.
I smile a sweet smile,
I'm bitter and that spoils it
My breath broken, my tongue flutters
over my stained teeth
My fingers fly up to adjust my jacket before I know it
Pulled my hat close, my collar closer
I don't want to run anymore
But now I know how to
I'll take my coffee with one lump please
no, not sugar
Well yes, maybe that too
... here goes
Would you happen to have some cyanide?
Oh thank you! Yes. That amount should suffice
Darling you really shouldn't carry things like that in your bag
But now you're my saviour
Here, take this
Rip it up. And see this?
Yes, that. It's for you. Spend it. Buy a new shade of lipstick
Don't use the cyanide just yet. use this, it's a lot, i know, yes, i'm sure. very much so.
Use it, use it all, get some knowledge, get some beauty
Buy some joy into your life. I'm too old to find mine. to face it.
Don't tell anyone
And don't spoil my coffee now
Hurry
Make sure I have some whipped cream
I love whipped cream
Everything should be just right
This should taste like my
Last drink.
---
Note: I hadn't intended to use cyanide in this poem, there was
another substitute for it which is more common, but I couldn't recall it (still can't).
I was in a lightheaded mood and pretty much let my fingers fly over the keyboard.
Also partially inspired
by a doodle of my friend Rai:
makemeacupofcoffeewithalumpofcyanidepleasesaidthespytothe
imposterandiwilldieapolicemanonewiththeforceonewiththelawfori
havebrokentoomany.