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The Deaf's Soliloquy
3 am, June 16
I sit to myself -- oh forgive me I didn't see you
there --
I sit with you too
I look at this world passing by,
and you,
and I think --
my smile, I think it's forced
I remain blissfully ignorant
of the creation of music -- beautiful, complicated,
and the unexplainable simplicity of the few syllables
everyone - and everything - has to offer
I'm somewhat, unaware of your voice
I know it by the hand of a pen
I know not its original form
I know that it lingers somewhat sweetly in air
Because it lingers on the expression
Of others that share the same
Air.
Its incredible power affects other souls despite invisibility
Because
It can be heard.
All the time this silence is warm and my only real company
all the time, this eerie calm in my head, all the time.
Are you aware of my voice
My voice is visible
And just like everything else --
rarely understood
A voice -- sometimes a mad dance -- created by hand on
Air.
Its incredible power to penetrate, interrupt everything else
With that
It can be heard
You and me, we have language barriers. Of entirely different
worlds
yours conflicts with the world already in my head
you aren't penetrating that calm that is my permanent company
I cannot speak to make myself clear
you refuse to let me see your reply
And in our strange 'conversation'
We're fumbling and trying, sometimes I think my feeble jokes connect
I can tell when you smile and throw your head back
to --- laugh?
Yes, laugh.
The breathtaking action compels me to join you
As I absorb its silent beauty.
eventual frustration
fumbling only takes us so far
now what are you saying?
... you know I can't hear you.
---
Note: I'm not actually deaf, nor do I know anyone who is. I
do however have an intense passion to take up sign language, I just don't have the time
for it yet. I wrote this in the morning when my mp3s stopped playing and I was surrounded
in silence. I felt a little static in my right ear and I felt like writing this. Maybe I
got my facts and perception wrong, but in those few moments I wrote it, I felt like I got
it right.
People have intrepreted it differently though. One person thought it was a
mother-son argument.