August
12, 2002
catching up: october '01 collaboration entry for thelipservice
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Write a letter to yourself, as though you were
someone else writing it to you. Choose someone you love and make the letter say what you
would want that person to say to you in a letter, instead of what they might actually say.
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Dear Liyana,
Thank you for your lovely letter. I can't believe it! My music's passed by a whole lot of
timezones all the way into Malaysia! I hereby claim you my first known Malaysian fan. Yeah
but you probably already knew that.
I read your video idea for 83. It's very detailed, I imagined it straight away. It's so
strange that I had to imagine me though, and my mum, and my brother. Very Pleasantville
but I know I had that coming. I might just release 83. If I do I'll use your script. I'll
even make sure you get a cameo. Yeah, you and me in a bed with blindfolds and ice-cream
towards the end or the beginning or just a quick 2 second flash here and there to make the
parents think they're hallucinating. Up for it?
I'm sorry to say that I probably will never tour in Malaysia unless I become
Aerosmith-famous which I don't see happening, and that means you won't see me in concert
there anytime soon. I got something to make up for it though. How about this, I'll give
you a mission. Recruit 7 or less of my truest Malaysian fans and I'll bring all of y'all
over to the UK for my next concert.
As gratitude to you you get to spend a sacred minute in my
sacred bus. Kidding. I meant 30 minutes, you knew that. Actually, you won't be leaving
till you've mastered Neon. I'll autograph you topless. But I'm not taking responsibility
for the 7 or so people that you pick, I'm just setting this up for you. In fact the
arrangements are going about as I type. My people will contact your people. I love saying
that.
And guess what else. I've been thinking about it, and I agree with you. The intimate
concerts need to get back on track. UK should be the perfect place to try that again. I
miss it. Just me, my trusty guitar and darling Gayla (what's this I hear about y'all
callin him Dela?). I'm trying to get that to happen now, maybe a small coffeehouse venue
in UK with big mouldy sofas and two stools on the stage. It'd cut money down on the
employment of the ponytailed-buttcrack-showing guys on stage. Not to mention the pyro
people.
you'll-see me in you-kay
Johnny John John Gayer (or as I hear y'all saying it, Mayer. Gayla and I take no offense).
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Alright I know the question probably meant someone who actually knows I'm
alive, but I'm not exactly head over heels in love with anyone right now. I don't do
flings either, and when they said 'letter', I just knew I had to write about/to/as John
Mayer. I wrote him a letter using an email link he gave before he became famous, I don't
even know if he checks it or bothers to reply. In this entry, I didn't TRY to sound like
him. I just tried not to sound like myself. Who knows what he might actually say if he had
replied.
PS: the 'gay' references are an inside joke in the jm forums. Mayer is - or
claims to be - straight all the way.