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| The Butcher guide to life |
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| If all else fails remember these golden rules: 1. What you read here is never to be repeated in the sane world. 2. If the law asks deny all knowledge of everything, even your own name if necesary. 3. Think of children not as a burden but as an excuse, if it all goes wrong blame it on them. 4. Remember 'A slap is worth a thousand insults'. 5. Pat is mine.......so don't even think about it.. 6. I'm the master so respect me, and never doubt what I say. 7. The carlot is sacred ground, never ever!! insult it. 8. Only ever do what you have to, why do it today when you can do it tommorow. 9. Shit happens!!!! usually to me actually but never mind. 10. If you're really in trouble pretend to have a nervous breakdown and scarper to Manchester. |
| Life can be hard........follow my guide to life and you'll find it even harder!!!!!! |
| Be warned these pages are particulary offensive especially if you're a woman, or if you're French. In which case well if you're French bugger off now, but the ladies might prefer another site. |
| "Only two things are infinite the Universe and stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former" Albert Einstein |
| "love thy neighbour as thyself" God |
| "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" Forrest Gump |
| " Life's a bitch..... and then you marry one" Frank Butcher |
| "Runaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!!!" Mike Reid |
| Alot of people are jealous of my sucess, they ask me 'Frank, how come you're so good at everything?' to those poor sods I say 'Life is a game of skill, not luck. A man is here to take control, it's our primary target to spread the seed' and I have spread my seed further than most men, if you know what I'm saying. Anyway for all you not-so-fortunate men out there I give you my guide to life. It's full of everything you could ever need to know, except for all the best Butcher knowledge, cos that's a family secret. The information you are about to read was handed down to me by Reginald Butcher my Grand-father, and one day you too can hand it on to your grand-children, but make sure you mention me..... alright? So let the fun begin and remember 'a man is nothing without his..........carlot' |
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