-never stop loving them. tell them this often.
-never get over them. ever.
-come out of the closet. say you were only attracted to him because he's so feminine. make it sound like a good thing.
-suggest he's gay too.
-chat up their new girlfriend.
-pretend you never broke up. if they remind you, say "Aw, you love your little jokes dont ya chuck?"
-twitch whenever you hear their name.
-give them an affectionate pet name, eg Baby Blue Eyes or Snuggle Bunny.
-say you're pregnant. this works particulary well if you've never slept with them, or are infact male.
-if you see them kissing their new girlfriend, comment on her technique. say she doesn't have the gift.
-kiss their feet. in public.
-suggest they're possesed by a demon called Beezlebub.
-make casual comments about genital lice.
-staple yourself to him.
-gurgle seductivly infront of his friends.
-occasionally point to his groin and laugh.
-make sexual comments about mittens.
-grumble about the long waiting list at the GUM clinic.
-walk past his house wearing a wedding dress. when questioned, refuse to talk about it.
-lick their ear and run away.
-dont wash. say you're doing it to mourn your lost love.
-write a song about your broken heart. put their name and contact details in the chorus. get to number one.
-name pets after him. say it helps you cope.
-deny he ever existed.
-tell everyone he named his member. be creative.
-tell people he still wears your underwear.
-wear his underwear.
-tell mutual friends about his sock fetish.
-let him catch you kissing a cardboard cut out of him. Shout "Nay, the beast lives on!" and run out of the room makin train noises. Deny it ever happened.
-Make a documentary on him. Dont ask his permission.
-stalk him. say its amazing how you keep on bumping into each other. make philosphical comments about fate.
-tattoo his name on a prominant body part.
-shout his name occasionally. pretend not to notice.