By Benjamin A. Kingsley
Hello. My name is Benjamin A. Kingsley, and I would like to make a complaint. The Community Board President, Jim Stillman, is a fine man and an adequate president. But every month in the pages of this very newsletter, he received preferential treatment and free advertising for his business. Time after time the readers are forced to read about �half-price this� and �ten percent off that,� which Mr. Stillman disguises as his �column.� Other local businesses, such as mine (Ben Kingsley�s House of Hardware) (not that Ben Kingsley), are already struggling to compete in this post-9/11 climate, and Jim�s blatant and improper advertising doesn�t help matters.
When we at House of Hardware were having our July �Grill-stravaganza,� we had to pay for every ad placed in the Pine Oaks Penny Spender (luckily, they each cost a penny). Yet Stillman�s Hardware gets to mention his cheap Malaysian flashlights and burnt salmon-colored house paint that no one wants with nary a dime spent. Well I�ve had enough. That�s why I asked for this space to and Jim, being the Board President, tried to say he decided what went into the newsletter, but luckily freedom of speech and freedom of the press won the day. So I�d like to take this opportunity to list several of Ben Kingsley�s House of Hardware�s (not that Ben Kingsley) upcoming sales and specials.
October � Tools and Ghouls; 30% off all drills, drill bits and specialty screwdrivers.
November � No-timber; specials on everything you need to gather firewood for the coming winter. Hats, axes, wood, etc.
December � �Winter Fun-derland�; Month-long sale on shovels, snow chains and salt, while supplies last.
January � �Man oh man�-uary; that�s what you�ll be saying when you see our prices during our annual New Year clearance sale.
February � Hearts, Hammers and Handsaws; Don�t forget Ben Kingsley�s House of Hardware (not that Ben Kingsley) when shopping for that special someone.
So remember, friends, that�s Ben Kingsley�s House of Hardware (not that Ben Kingsley). When you think of Ben Kingsley, you probably think of �Ghandi,� or even �BloodRayne.� But we want you to think of hardware.
Benjamin A. Kingsley
Fighting Spirit...p. 3
Neighborhood Watch...p. 4
Message from the President...FRONT
Pine Oaks Book Club...p. 3
Welcome Wagon...FRONT
This Month in Pine Oaks...FRONT
Young Person's Perspective...p. 5