My name is Anthony, and I want to be your lawyer.
Have you been involved in a horribly disfiguring accident of some kind? Either car, home, scientific laboratory, or other? If so, there�s only one call you need to make: A. Baby, Attorney at Law.
Now I know what some of you are thinking: �I�m not calling a baby. Babies don�t have law degrees, and their comportment in the courtroom may be described as unfortunate at best.� I share your concerns, and do not support bestowing law degrees on babies, toddlers, tweens, or other juveniles. Perhaps in the future scientists will engineer some kind of superbabies with high intellects, but in that scenario I would suggest they turn to the science, mathematics, or cooking professions. Can you imagine eating a breakfast cooked by a superbaby? That would be the best French toast ever.
No, I�m not suggesting you hire a baby, I�m suggesting you hire A. Baby, Attorney at Law, who is me, Anthony Baby. It�s an awkward name I admit, but one that I am proud to carry. Babys have been contributing members of American society ever since 1897, when my great great grandfather Giuseppe Behbe came to Ellis Island, and an immigrant processor there misunderstood his accent, which admittedly was thick, but not in a stereotypical, Mario-kind of way. Still, the confusion is understandable. That�s why I�m using this written forum to supplement my radio advertising, where the A. Baby/a baby confusion is more prevalent.
What are my qualifications? I received my law degree from Hanover Refrigeration and Law College in 1993, and since then I�ve specialized in trauma torts, patents, wills, and in defending mad scientists. But you don�t have to be �mad� (a term they hate, by the way; if you ever meet one, and you will, be sure to call them �intellectually misunderstood�) to know that I will fight for you and whatever rights you choose to assert at any point in time. Or hey, maybe you think you�re going to die soon. That works, too.
So remember, when you need a lawyer, don�t just hire anyone, hire A. Baby.
Barbara Del Roca, Pine Oaks Book Club Co-Chair
Hello again, Pine Oaks Book Clubbers!
Yes, it�s Barbara again (or should I say, still), taking the Book Club column duties this month. I�d like to thank Julia Schaun for filling in so ably all those months I was busy campaigning and winning the Neighborhood Board presidentship (and it is rather like a ship, I have to say). We certainly had an interesting discussion about last month�s book, Flag Lapel Pins of Our Fathers. And how appropriate that we were joined by our newest Book Club member, Liz Jeffs. She brought such an interesting perspective to a political book; we�ll have to read them more often!
I�m also quite excited about our book for next month. It�s called �The Mysterious Colonnade,� and Ben Solomon tells me it�s a mystery in the vein of Dan Brown, John Grisham, and my favorite book of 2006, �The Collectors.� I can�t wait to read it! The meeting will be held at Terry and Deborah Otter�s house, so if you decide to attend, remember that they have cats, and hamsters, and hermit crabs, and I think they own a mongoose. So be careful of your allergies.
Yours in reading,
Barbara Del Roca, Pine Oaks Book Club Co-Chair
Fighting Spirit...p. 3
Neighborhood Watch...p. 3
Message from the President...FRONT
Pine Oaks Book Club...p. 2
Welcome Wagon...FRONT
This Month in Pine Oaks...FRONT
Young Person's Perspective...p. 4