You can enjoy a beer all month long. Beer stains wash out. You don't have to wine and dine beer. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. Hangovers go away. A beer label comes off without a fight. Beer is never late. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. Beer never gets a headache. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head. A beer always goes down easy. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. You can share a beer with your friends. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer. Beer is always wet. Beer doesn't demand equality. You can have a beer in public. A beer doesn't care when you come. A frigid beer is a good beer. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. If you change beers you don't have to pay alimony.