I should have been a goddess,
Such beauty never seen.
I should have been a saint,
Pure, virginal, and clean.
I should have been a martyr,
Dying for my cause.
I should have been your everything,
But I never was.
I should have been a rock star,
Idol-worship me.
I should have been a spirit,
Free of humanity.
I should have been a succubus,
Pleasing whom I dared.
I should have been your world,
But you never cared.
I should have been a sorceress,
Creating what I want.
I should have been a poltergeist,
In your heart I'd haunt.
I should have been a ruling queen,
That you had to appease.
I should have been a prostitute,
Fucking whom I pleased.
I should have been a somebody,
But I was just me . . .
The Goddess dreamed,
In shades of blue and aquamarine,
Riddled with hopes and glories,
Fraught with anxiety and worries;
The dream of corruption,
The dream of seduction,
The dream of the human condition.
The Goddess dreamed,
Of the sphere, water, and everything,
Utterly gorgeous, sheer perfection,
Nurturing with the utmost affection,
Nurturing all the seeds,
Nurturing all the would-be's,
Nurturing us human beings.
The Goddess dreamed,
But it was far from reality.
While we ripped and scarred the earth;
Forsaking the woman who gave us birth.
Forsaking all we could've known,
Forsaking the love we would've shown,
Forsaking the beauty we could've grown.
The tears that run over wounds just cut,
I just wanted to be someone.
Regrets I feel now cleansed with blood.
What monster have I now become?
The sorrows deep in blood-shot eye,
Portray the desire to die.
My scars that never knitted with time; To think everyone thought I was fine!
Ironic now, considering my fate.
Funny how help came so late.
Odd, how I took the bait.
Funny this is the path I'd take . . .
Let me choose my own path,
Corrupted as it may be.
Let me live my own life,
Fucked as it may be.
Dammit, just let me saty me!
I hate when you try to change,
The values that I have.
I hate when you try to change,
The opinions that I have.
Dammit, just let me stay as I am!
Let me pierce and tattoo as I please,
Because it's my own face.
Let me paint and decorate crazily,
Because its my own space.
Dammit, let me choose my own tastes!
Let me choose my own friends,
Corrupted as they may be.
Let me die my own death,
Terrifying as it may seem.
Dammit, just let me be ME!
Dress me up like your little doll.
Remind me how I'm so very small.
Comb my hair and button my shoes.
Throw me in the corner and verbally abuse.
Batter, hit, and repeat.
Kick around and harshly beat.
Tear and rip apart my seams.
Hurt me as much as you please.
Unsew my limbs and expose my insides.
Blind my precious button-eyes.
Stitch my mouth up tight and neat,
For fear of the truths I'd speak.
Let my stuffing spill out carelessly.
Scar my soul ruthlessly.
I'm the little doll, tossed about.
I'm the doll, with the trash I'm thrown out.
You were never that great.
You were never that wonderful.
So why the hell did I put you on a pedastel?
I raised you up high,
Built you a Mt. Olympus.
The deity in the sky,
Looking downward on mankind.
I gave you a horse,
That was ten feet tall,
So your superiority I could enforce.
I'd let you stand while I would fall.
I plastered you face on every screen.
In lights, I wrote your name.
I let you star in my life's movie,
While I took a backseat and the blame.
In my mind, I made you flawless,
Almost immortal in intellect and beauty.
I ignored the fact you were a mess.
I thought you were better than me.
Guess who was wrong?
Look who turned out the duplicity!
I was the goddess all along!
I'm so much better without hypocrisy!
Falsified face with horrible taste
Powdered mask and unbelievable task
Lipstick'd lips with plasticene kiss
Why try to hide yourself?
You're already too far gone.
We already now the horror.
We already know the pain.
So let's show the world your ugly face.