Box of Secrets,
House of lies,
I think I want to die.
Take away the twisted world,
Leave behind a vast, black sky.
I think I want to die.
Welcome death's skeletal embrace,
Drifiting in a timeless space.
Greet the cold darkness,
Gentle as a lover's kiss.
Floating in the vast expanse,
Dreaming of an eerie dance.
My world is broken; it is lost,
Forever trapped in unyielding frost.
Never to love or to feel,
Never know what's really real.
What I thought wasn't true . . .
If there's no trust, what's the use?
Box of Secrets,
House of lies,
I think I want to die.
Looking glass slipper,
Held in my hand.
Hourglass dropping,
Grains of sand.
Phosphorescent rage,
Mommy went insane.
Neon daydreams,
A dull, throbbing pain.
Pinprick elephants,
Singing the blues,
Dancing the two-step,
In platform shoes!
Vodka & orange juice,
Whilst living in denial.
Red blood oozing . . .
Why not stay for a while?
Orange-y vapours,
And heavy-soled dreams,
Wave in eldritch light,
With multi-coloured beams.
My childhood died;
I'm not sure when.
I've lived through time,
And back again.
My carefree laughter,
My joyful days,
Sittin' in mom's lap . . .
It's all gone away.
Have to enter the world,
And I'm so afraid.
Leave my childhood,
Oh, I wish I'd stayed!
The cheerleader-whore,
Always begging for more.
Plying her trade,
Just wants to get laid.
Make a quick buck,
She'll never have enough.
She's all yours,
Got that slutty allure.
She never refuses.
Hell, she even boozes.
It's the cheerleader-whore,
Of the slut-child lore.
Stupid, stupid little me,
Caught again in misery.
Once again, I am the weight,
Bringing you to poorest state,
Dragging you into my rut,
The dark alone will be enough.
Stupid, stupid little me,
Stuck in captivity.
Built up my defensive walls,
Ignoring sanity's revered call.
Using blocks of self-doubt,
Building walls strong & stout.
Stupid, stupid little me,
Trapped in inadequacy.
I failed me; I failed you.
Success- something I never knew.
Last rung on the tallest ladder,
Another fact to make me sadder.
Stupid, stupid little me,
Drowning in hypocrisy,
My circle of friends; my choice alone.
Much too terrified of dying unknown.
Dealing with the clearly fake,
Is just a chance I have to take.
Why can't my mind just shut up?
Why can't my mind give me peace?
Why can't my mind bring release?
Why can't my mind stop torturing me?
It's another entity, I swear.
It's another different being.
It's another monster inside of me.
It's another plague that just won't leave.
I fear that it's taken control.
I fear that I will not survive.
I fear it's won't let me stay alive.
I fear that ceasing it will make me die.
Why won't my mind just shut up?
Why won't my mind give me peace?
Why won't my mind offer release?
Why won't my mind stop torturing me?