Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against The sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. (Love it!)
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well Again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend". Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth
It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.
Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!
1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running.
2. Strike while the....................................bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before.....................Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of........termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but ........how?
6. Don't bite the hand that........................looks dirty.
7. No news is............................................impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a.........................Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new..............math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll............stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust..........................................me.
12. The pen is mightier than the....................pigs.
13. An idle mind is...............................the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's.................pollution.
15. Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is............................not much.
17. Two's company, three's.....................the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what.........you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.....you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as......Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not........spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed.......................get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you.......see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind.................get out of the way.
And the WINNER and last one!
25. Better late than.....................................Pregnant.
...For Seniors
1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
2. Set timer for 2 minutes, just in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand just in case you can't remember.
6. Keep the Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed. or some other delicate part.
7. Have Extra-Strength Tylenol ready just in case you actually complete what you started.
8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it happens, call everyone you know with the good news.
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.