four worms were put into four seperate jars.
the first was put into a container of alcohol.
the second was put into a container with cigarette smoke.
the third into a jar of chocolate.
the fourth into good, clean soil.
at the conclusion of the sermon the minister reported the results:
the first in alcohol- DEAD!
the second in cigarette smoke-DEAD!
the third in chocolate-DEAD!
the fourth in clean soil-ALIVE!
so the minister asked the concregation-what did you learn from this demenstration?
maxine was sitting in the back quickly raised her hand and said- as long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!
Words:
Leroy is a 20 year old 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody.
2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good.
3. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, b ut my bitch rectum both.
4. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
5. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
6. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "Man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch israel."
7. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.
8. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "How much?" She say "fortify."
Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word, today's word is: "OMELETTE"
Let us use it in a sentence.
"I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide"
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it."
"Your wasting your time," said the boy.
"Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'.
Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. 'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them.' Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!'
George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'
(True Story) I LOVE IT - Don't mess with old people!!
A 6-year-old and 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'. The 4-year-old agrees with enthusiasm. When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast, he repli es, "Aw, hell Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay in there until I let you out." She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios."
For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star.
* Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *