There is a moral to this story......(Maybe not the one most of you expect.... So, read on!)
In the dead of summer a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream.
The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular,
"Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water thinking,
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore thinking,
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly... and I will grab the fish!!"
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich....
"Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."
Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one river bank, but I can tell you there's more....
A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish jumps for that fly.. and that bear grabs for that fish.. the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, (as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular river around lunch time)
"Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches.. and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear.. and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich . Then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water.
The fish swallows the fly...
The bear grabs the fish..
The hunter shoots the bear..
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich...
The cat jumps for the mouse..
The mouse ducks...
The cat falls into the water and drowns.
NOW, The Moral Of The Story....
Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy is gonna be in serious danger.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says,"What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.....
I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weighs 3 pounds each and my name is Turner Brown."
The small guy says:
"Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, " Turn around!
The auditor says, *Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.*
*I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,* says Charlie. *How about a demonstration?*
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, *Okay. Go ahead.*
Charlie says, *I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.*
The auditor thinks a moment and says, *No way! It's a bet.*
Charlie removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Charlie says, *Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.*
The auditor can tell Charlie isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Charlie removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand with Charlie's attorney as a witness.
He starts to get nervous.
*Want to go double or nothing?* Charlie asks. *I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.*
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Charlie stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Charlie's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
*Are you okay?* the auditor asks.
*Not really,* says the attorney. *This morning, when Charlie told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.*