| Blonde jokes: |
| do you like blonde jokes? do you want to see one that you know up here? just send it in and i'll put it up with your name so all your friends will know that you told it to everyone! |
| what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? (you slap a mosquito and it stops sucking)
how do you drown a blonde? (put a scratch 'n stiff sticker/mirror at the bottom of the pool) what do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? (run she's got the grenade in her mouth) what do a blonde and a tornado have in common? (they both suck and blow then take your house away) what do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? (pull the pin and throw it back) there was a blonde, brunette, and a red head, they were all stuck at the dump, they said they would go and get some supplies for the walk home, the brunette got food and said it's in case we get hungry, the red head got water so if we get thirsty, the blonde got a car door so if we get hot we can roll down the window. blonde gets sick and tired of getting made fun of so she dyes her hair, on her way home she has to stop to let some sheep go by, she turns to the sheepheader and said "if i can guess how many sheep you have, can i have one?" he said sure, she said 347 and got it right, so she picked one out and the sheepherder said "if i guess your true hair color can i have my dog back?" blonde and brunette walk down the street, brunette says "oh, look a dead bird" the blonde looks up and says "where?" a blonde wants some money so she decides to go around and paint some stuff, she goes to her neighbor and asks if he has anything that she can paint, he says "yeah you can paint my porch, the paint and brushes are in the back", so the blonde ges out to paint it, then his wife says, "honey, aren't you going to tell her it goes all the way around?", he replied "she'll figure it out" about ten minutes later the blonde comes back and says "i'm done, and i had enough paint to do two coats, oh and by the way, it's not a porche it's a mercedes." what do you call a smart blonde? articifical intelligence this blonde and brunette are watching the ten o'clock news, there was a suicide jumper on a building being reported, the brunette turns to the blond and says "i bet you 20 bucks that he'll jump" so the blonde agrees and sure enough 5 minutes later he jumps, the blonde starts to hand the money over when the brunette shakes her head and says "i can't take your money, i saw this happen on the 5 o'clock news" "so did i" said the blonde" but i didn't think he would be stupid enough to jump twice" a blonde, brunette and red head all die, god greets them and says "if you can make it up these 100 stairs while i tell jokes and don't laugh then you can go to heaven, but if you don't then you go to hell" the brunette goes first, she gets up a few steps and laughs, she goes to hell, the red head goes next, she goes a little farther and laughs, the blonde goes up and she gets to the last step and starts laughing. god says "why did you laugh, you almost made it" the blonde says "i just got the first joke" a blonde is in a boat in the middle of a corn field, another blonde is driving by and sees this, so she gets out of the car, goes to the edge of the corn field and yells "IT'S BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US BLONDES A BAD NAME! AND IF I COULD SWIM I'D GO OUT THERE AND SAY IT TO YOUR FACE!" what do you call a brunette between two blondes? (a translater) |