Month Six: Your OutburstsPeople will say, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" Are they fucking insane? Do they think you had control? You will have this outburst in a coffee shop and the woman with the latte behind you will say, "Well, actually, yes, you could have chosen the sex of your baby." You will be upset that you had an outburst in the coffee shop over a topic you know nothing about. It will be one thing to have an outburst and be wrong, it will be a whole other thing to have an outburst and be wrong and be fat. You will read up on choosing the sex of your baby, because after all, you will be so heavy that all you will do is sit in bed and read. You will find out that boy sperm are fast and girl sperm are hearty so if you have sex right when your ovulate the fast get to your eggs, and if you have sex a few days before you ovulate only the hearty sperm are left for your eggs. You will tell your husband you should have planned better. Your husband will dismiss you because now that you're six months pregnant he will assume everything you say is crazy. You will force him to engage in conversation. He will say, "Well, what gender would you have wanted?" You will have no idea. Or, you will have the idea that you would have picked what you won't be getting. And you will cry. Because your husband will be right; you will be crazy and everything will make you cry.
Month Seven: Your Husband | Your Sex Life | Your Vagina |
