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| "Flowers gathered in the morning, Afternoon they blossom on, Still are withered by the evening: You can be me when I'm gone." (19) |
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| I had a crush on Ben when I had no one. I have since completely lost interest. My family loves him. I love him, but not the same way. I definitely have none of that all-consuming crush I used to. Ben thinks that womanhood is all candle-lit bubblebaths. He thinks he is feminine because he likes the things a stereotypical woman would like. He has no idea. He told me once that he likes to take walks at night because no one is around. I told him that I am too nervous to do that. He said he�s not afraid of being mugged. I told him I wasn�t afraid of being mugged, I was afraid of being raped. He hadn�t even considered the idea. This fear is ingrained in the psyches of women, an idea we have to think of to survive, and it didn�t even cross his mind. Ben subscribes to Playboy and the Barbie School of Feminine Idealism. He rejected me based solely on my physical appearance. Then he met a girl who was �just like me,� only pretty. (his words) (my words) He has stated, [once before] three times, that we are very alike [and twice after he started dating her]. His idea of what a woman should be repulses me. It still amazes me that I ever thought he�d be good for me. |
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