thoughts

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9.29.01

11:11AM

Am procastinating the writing of my sex paper. Fun fun fun for everyone. I am currently attempting to free write but getting no where. Which would almost be the the point of free writing right? I have writer's block when trying to write without forming concise thought. Hilarious. Oh well. Duty was exciting as usual last night. Campus safety, noise complaints, alcohol the works. Not surprised anymore. It doesn't even bother me anymore. I had a great night as far as me and my friends were concerned. Watched 3 movies hung out with the old Chilcott crew, with the exception of Andrew. Mel and Bonnie came over, Paul popped in and hung with us for a bit then left. Andrew came in after orchestra rehearsal, since he's performing tonite, and then Paul came back to watch the rest of Office Space with us. It was hilarious. I loved it. Until 2 am. I love my friends. They make this job so much easier.

9.28.01

10:41AM

Well, there is no rest for the wicked. Always something to do. Feeling pretty good going into this weekend, except for the research proposal sources that I have to do and the paper I have to write. My weekend is looking better and better. I love writing advising. It's great, occasionally I get those hostiles, but I like helping the people who are receptive. Also, getting to talk to Tammy is great since I don't have classes with her anymore. Going to go see the orchestra perform Saturday and then go back and watch Princess Bride with Bonnie, since she's never seen it before. Blasphemous! (is that spelled right?) So we must immediately rectify the situation. So now that my free trial for frontpage has run out I'm now back to regular old html. Which is ok except for the fact that I forgot how to hyperlink the old fashioned way. Sad, really sad. Let me try to remember. Here is Andrew's Homepage Well, I'm glad that worked. It's nice to know that I still know how to cheat off Mel's page.

9.24.01

9:45PM

Am procastinating again. Then again, how can you concentrate when you're heart is hurting again. Ahh, the melodramatic side of me manifests.....
Sarah Mclachlan - Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

Yes Sarah speaks to my soul. I got some better ones, but Angel really hit me at that moment. Feeling a little alone inside in that tiny place that no one reaches. Miss Melissa. Being here in this dorm is hard, being the RA is hard because you're stuck in this position and you get cut off from your friends. Thanks Andrew, you're good for me.

9.22.01

11:25PM

Well, at least I find myself being rewarded for my efforts as an RA. One of my friends came and thanked me for being there for one of her friends who is my resident and was going through a tough time with her boyfriend. I also feel very privleged that one of my friends could share a secret with me. That makes me feel special and honored. Corny I know, but this is what makes the job worth all the pain and the sweat. Another one of my residents told me that I was a great RA and I hope he comes by and visits me so we can have some more political discussions. Life si very stressful sometimes, but it is worth it because I love what I do. Which is important. I also find that I have this natural high on life, which is good because I don't think I'm going to be doing any drugs or consuming any alcohol this year.
I also wanted to share that even though I haven't talked about what happened last week on the 11th it's not that I don't know, but I can't really verbalize what's happened, I don't want to talk about it yet, and I don't think tha tI ever really can discuss what happened online.

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