-8/15/98
If Only...
-8/27/98
Red Storm
You taught me to love and you were there for me.
I helped you through your pain and your grief.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.
You have captured my heart, though you don't know.
You make me feel utterly perfect inside.
You mean the world to me and so much more,
I want to be with you all the time, night and day.
For nothing can quench the fire burning for you.
-8/28/98
Found Again
-8/31/98?
As the cars go by down on the street at night,
I cannot help but wonder what life would be like,
If I or my friends or my pets or anything I hold dear
Or anything I hate or merely know of was not here.
I hold dear, I revere, the wonder of all this randomness.
I respect and am enraptured with awe at the mere thought
Of Chaos and how all would be different if something was changed,
And how maybe I would be different somehow too.
If only there was a push in one direction;
If only there was a certain circumstance;
If only there existed some way to get all I need,
Maybe I would be different too.
But for now I exist only for the comical entertainment of God,
And for scribbling my nonsensical thoughts on paper.
And I am one to overlook the obvious
And note every little detail that is not needed.
I have a life, though a meaningless one,
One filled with animosity from peers and hatred from strangers,
With constant mistakes and obvious imperfections
And only my inner spirit to guide me.
If only I could see more of my life;
If only I understood everything around me;
If only there was more to me than stupidity,
Then maybe I could live a normal life.
I am not a person; I am not a friend;
I have no personality to allow real conversations.
I lead a pointless life, trying my hardest to be good
And to make many friends along my journey.
But I can see in their eyes, they judge me forevermore.
They see how I look, how I act, and how I behave around them.
Perhaps it is just a fluke in my design,
But I can�t help but feel there is something wrong.
If only I knew what everyone knows;
If only I could see what others see;
If only I felt what others have felt,
Then maybe, just maybe, I could actually be me.
Red storm clouds gather low in the sky.
The only ones around here are you and I.
We look at each other and know in our hearts
That we can never be apart.
You are everything I have always wanted to be.
You showed me my life, and I knew deep inside
That I wanted you to be mine.
I helped you form your opinions and beliefs.
I showed you my life and you showed me yours;
Our relationship opened new doors.
I want to touch you, to feel you, someday soon.
I want to be with you for all of my life,
I want you to know what I am like.
Yet I feel you inside, and I desire to go
To you, to see you for the very first time,
And ask you if you will be mine.
I don't know what I would do if I tried
To be without you for any duration of time,
For I think I would die.
No matter how smart or dumb, how rich or poor.
There is nothing that I would not do for you,
For the light of my life is you.
I want to feel you close, and I will say,
"I love you. Will you be mine
Until the end of time?"
For nothing can destroy how I feel about you.
For no one knows what I know and do.
I only want to be with you.
When I was away for more than seven days
I needed much more than for my life to change.
Looking up, it was decided from above
That I should have one more chance with my love.
And in that time, I learned how to rhyme,
And I forgot all about why I wanted to die.
Right there and then I found my love again,
Beneath a newborn sky and clouds and stars and sun.
And I met you. Your eyes were bright and your face was cute,
And you, with simple delight and looks so good,
And you, all day and all night, all the time,
I think of you.
You are the light of my life.
[My Home Page], [Poem Index], [Date Index], [My Thoughts Page], [Lyrics Index], [Previous], [Next], [My e-Mail]