OKAZISMS!
o·kaz·isms: A newspaper article devoid of any truth or logic
[origin: okaz newspaper]
o·kaz·i adj
o·kaz·ing verb

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(Wednesday 17 May 2006)

Palestinian president warns against a new cycle of violence in the region. So I guess the middle east's years and years of peace, prosperity and tranquility will be disturbed unless the international community takes action?

(Friday 12 May 2006)

Secret stock market regulations and dengue fever reaching into Najran. Hmmmm.. why are both of these topics in the same article? It must be because regulations and reaching both start with the letter r.

(Thursday 23 March 2006)

Good news for all the boycott aficionados out there. Possibly blasphemous cigarettes.

(Saturday 11 March 2006)

Major controversy over the use of colored contact lenses in a local beauty pageant. Nude picture of one of the contestants included.

(Friday 10 March 2006)

If you need medical advice where better to go than Okaz? Here's an article about liposuction including that pedophile friendly photo they are so fond of using.

(Thursday 9 March 2006)

Members of the holyman brigade* are less susceptible to depression, loneliness and anxiety. Okaz claims its because of a chemical reaction that occurs in their heads whenever they do their job. I claim its because they get a hard-on whenever they make a person's life miserable.

holyman brigade: aka religious police, aka the commission for the promotion of virtue and pervention of vice, aka the folks who have been personally delegated by god to judge you

(Sunday 19 February 2006)

Okaz writer complaining of not having enough places dedicated for families. Apparently this guy lives in some weird alter reality.

(Thursday 16 February 2006)

Entire tribe signs a pact to name this years newborns "Mohammed". That'll show the Danes whos boss.

Good for them, besides all having the same last name and looking exactly alike, they'll also have the same first names.

(Saturday 4 February 2006)

Attention women! Wearing short, see-through or tight clothes will cause skin cancer.

(Sunday 29 January 2006)

Not only are satellite tv and the internet the sources of all our social ills but they also cause obesity.

(Thursday 26 January 2006)

An entire section about bachelors and the dangers they pose to society. Damn those bachelors, where did they come from? How can they be exterminated? Dont they know that real men live with mommy and daddy until they're married?

(Tuesday 24 January 2006)

Around the country, teenage girls are passing out and crying hysterically because of their exams.. and brace yourself they're also discussing star academy outside the exam halls. Looks like i'm going to have to add star academy to okaz-truths.

(Sunday 22 January 2006)

Star academy because it promotes intermixing of the sexes, men acting unmanly and unpious fashions is banned from this Okaz writer's house so that he may protect his 7-year old daughter.

What is it with people here and star academy? It's as if its the first show ever to simultaneously contain both young men and women. Another thing, they all want to make it big in the entertainment industry thats why they look and act that way. Is it really that hard to understand?

(Friday 20 January 2006)

3G cellphones are just around the corner. Okaz suggests intensified public awareness campaigns targetted toward young people to inform them of how to use such evil devices inline with our holy customs and traditions.

(Thursday 19 January 2006)

Title says: "A Half Ton of Fat", such a delightful description for an overweight person dont you think?

(Wednesday 18 January 2006)

Mark your calendars and stock up on suntan lotion. Nuclear war is to be engaged against Iran starting March 2006.

(Tuesday 17 January 2006)

Be warned young man, if you hear a woman's voice calling you in the shadows it is the devil calling you.. or it may be these caniving thieves trying to steal your cash.

(Monday 16 January 2006)

Front page news. Confident prediction that 40% of students will fail their upcoming exams because some guy said so.

(Sunday 15 January 2006)

Okaz reporting on employees and how they are preparing for the first day of work after eid break. Employees are reportedly worried how they will wake up for tommorow. No news on nation-wide disappearance of alarm clocks.

Okazisms!

So what is this all about?

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Okazi-truth

The gospel okazi truth about the following topics:

Bad taste

Camera cell phones

Decedance

Fat people

Globalization

White trash

Relations

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