III. Troubleshooting

WHAT IF A CHILD THROWS A TANTRUM
          It�s important that a child knows that he can express himself; and you�re not criticizing him but merely redirecting his actions towards something less destructive.
         When you say no, offer an alternative. Is Jun-jun banging his head on the wall? Had him a pillow to bang his head into. Is he throwing paperwads at the doctors? Point him towards the waste basket.
         If two children are fighting, break it apart immediately. �Jun-jun, pahiram mo muna kay Jose yung laruan. Pag tapos na siya, babalik niya sa�yo kaagad. Para sa ngayon, pili ka naman ng iba pang laruan.� These kids are no more different than your little brother / cousin / nephew � or you ten years ago for that matter.

WHAT IF A CHILD IN THE MIDDLE OF CHEMOTHERAPY BECOMES RESISTANT?
            If you are with the child, try to distract him by making funny faces, or soothe him by holding his hand or wiping his brow. Be honest with him. �Oo, masakit, pero sandali lang.� It might help if you let him look at the injection so at least he can anticipate the prick. Don�t forget to follow-through after the chemotherapy. Praise him, play with him, tease him �Oh, di ba sandali lang�.
          Be sure that someone also aids the parent � they too are affected by their child�s pain. Pat them on the back, fan them and say, �Pinawisan ang dakilang nanay! Paypayan!� A little humor never hurt anyone, and you�d be surprised at the laughter that goes around during those Kythe sessions.
          If you�re with another child at the onslaught of this, uh, spectacle, stay where you are. He needs your presence too, and abruptly leaving him might upset him as much as the child on the table.

WHAT IF A PARENT STARTS ASKING FOR MONEY, OR A CHILD WANT TO BRING HOME A TOY?
          If a parent ask you for money, never give them right then and there, straight from your own pocket. Tell them (nicely!) that if they need anything at all, Kythe is more than willing to help them out. They need to get used to asking from just one source � and that�s Kythe, not you personally. But if you really want to help them out financially, approach one of the Kythe moderators, give them your money, and they�ll make sure it gets to that specific family.
          If a child should want to bring home a toy, explain that other boys and girls would want to play with it too, and he can always play with it when he comes back. Gift for children should be avoided since we don�t want to play favorites, but if you really have a particular present for a particular child, wait until the Kythe Christmas Party. The annual Yuletide celebration make gift-giving less conspicuous, not to mention more meaningful.

WHAT IF A CHILD OR PARENT ASKS WHAT CANCER IS?
          �Nobody knows what causes cancer, but it is not because of something you did or did not do, as a son or a parent. All we know is that the body is made of cells. Sometimes a few cells become sick, and these grow and kill other cells. Chemotherapy kills the sick cells, but it also kills healthy cells � that�s why your hair falls out, or you vomit These are only side effects and one day they will go away.�

WHAT IF A CHILD OR PARENT ASKS WHAT KYTHE IS?
          Inevitably, they will ask why you�re there. Clarify that we�re here for psychological support only. �Ang tao ay may isip, damdamin at katawan. Ang doctor ay nandito para alagaan ang inyong katawan. Kami ay nandito para kamustahin any iyong isip at damdamin.�

WHAT IF YOU AND A CHILD ARE PLAYING, AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?
          Don�t leave abruptly. Even fifteen minutes before the assigned time, prepare him for it by saying, �Kapag yung maliit na kamay nasa eleven at yung malaki nasa six, aalis na si Ate ha.� Drop comments like, �Oh sige, isa pang drawing tapos aalis na ako.� Allow him to prepare for the situation, so he has some sense of control.

BE AWARE OF YOURSELF.
          Avoid getting into situations you can�t handle, but once you realize you�re there, don�t be afraid to get out. You don�t have to strong for everybody. Sympathy, sorrow, anger, helplessness, joy � all these are natural reactions. Express them, and don�t hesitate to ask for support. If you can�t find a Kythe member of moderator, and you really want to talk to someone, go to anyone in the Ateneo Psychology Department and say, �I�m a Kythe member � I want to ask something.�